"Goodnight... goodnight..."

@aka_lizlauren

Farewell, Marian Paroo and The Music Man in Chicago.

The most glorious part: creating a new Marian Paroo in tandem with my "whyfe" Katie Spelman-- my favorite contemporary artistic collaborator. It has been a dream, a career highlight, and the definition of platonic intimacy. Katie, along with our peerless female-led creative team Kim Hudman + Laura Rook, not to mention 37 world-class performers. The professionalism of every contributor has made this one of the great artistic experiences of my career, and I’m so proud of what we all made together.

It must be mentioned that sharing the journey of Marian and Harold opposite KJ Hippensteel's Harold Hill— the best I’ve ever seen in the role for reasons I’ve expressed now countless times. 

 

KJ, our creation is a work of art, and I’m proud that it has deepened and enriched over the weeks in ways actors can only dream of. In addition, we’ve never wavered from our shared commitment to telling it honestly, no matter what; a testament to our shared professionalism and love of the work. Thank you. It’s been an honor to tell this story together.

I’ve made some lifelong friends and theatrical chosen family, I’ve conquered so many of my singing demons and felt in my cells once again what I thought was the lost sensation of truly soaring on stage in a musical again. I flew— and it was even more precious because after the last decade or so, I know what it means to fall.

Almost everything has been a total dream.

Yet, being honest, there have been parts of this experience that have been both socially and physically agonizing. I won't go in to detail here, first of all because I am a lady (I have never used this space for idle muckraking), and second because none of the thoughts and feelings are fully identified or organized, and I have learned to only offer reflections in a vaguely public space such as this once experiences are truly processed. Suffice it to say: I’m grateful for the lessons and look forward to ever-more calming of my nervous system. 

 

For although I passionately love this role, adore so many in this company, and revere this gorgeous work of art we all created, I am ready to return home. I look forward to returning to an environment where I feel fully understood, where what I offer as a friend, colleague and human being is deeply valued, respected, and above all: the goodness of my intentions are never doubted or maligned. I know I shall never scramble to prove my worth again, for if we find ourselves trying to prove our worth to others who do not see or value it? We have already forgotten our own value.

Marian and this contract have taught me:

- communicate.
- don’t make assumptions.
- trust.
- love abundantly— without apology.
- and tell people what they mean to you—for our trip on earth is brief.

And so:

“Goodnight… goodnight…”

@aka_lizlauren