The Jumpsuit: A Critical Essay

     Ahhhhhh the jumpsuit.

     Truth be told, when it comes to fashion I am, for the most part, lazy, thus hugely enjoy feeling vaguely “put together” in one simple garment.

Huzaah! Enter: the jumpsuit— the now ever-present summer staple that's always there to deliver on put-together-ness and outfit-selecting ease.

     A few seasons ago, wearing a jumpsuit would solicit comments such as “wow you are brave” or “gosh that’s daring.” I’d sort of shrug, not entirely understanding why courage and valiance were associated with my fashion-laziness, plus a desire to prevent New York City “swamp crotch” in deepest July—all whilst waiting for the N to (never) show up.

     Magazines and stylists on morning shows seemed to compare rompers to 15th-century exploration—a high risk, high reward endeavor into uncharted lands. I’d go out and awestruck friends would lean in ask in hushed voices: “But how do you go to the bathroom?” The truth? Slowly, disgustingly, over the course of what feels like 45 minutes. “Oh hello, it is July. I’m in a jumpsuit and have to pee—see you in 30 to 60 minutes, here's my credit card and please enjoy the dessert.”

     That said, during the summer I ostensibly rotate five outfits (again, lazy)—and just the other day I realized that three of these outfits are, indeed, jumpsuits.

Ugh. Dammit.

     A little over two weeks ago I sprained my wrist (falling off an electric-bicycle in San Francisco—good Lordy don’t ask), and I came to realize that a sprained wrist is simply one incapacitation too far for the dear ol' jumpsuit. The temporary incapacitation had me re-examine the garment entirely.

     I’ve come to the conclusion that jumpsuits (and their  Skipper-to-the-jumpsuit's-Barbie, hideous-little-sister: the romper) are a terrible failure of aeronautics, hygiene, design, and general practicality.

Good luck.

Here are a few, carefully selected reasons why the jumpsuit totally sucks:


1. Going to the bathroom is mission impossible.
Look. It’s going to take a few minutes to figure out how to get the contraption off of your person (without letting everything hit the floor but we’ll get to that in a minute).

Now how exactly do people wear these at music festivals or concerts where the only option to urinate is a sludge-soaked porta-potty? It is absolutely beyond my realm of comprehension. It defies all logic, Newton's Laws, and the very basic tenets of physics.

Plus, you better hope the line isn’t too long because you’re only taking six hours in there.
Whatever.
It’s fine.
No one else at this bar/restaurant/wedding/music festival has to pee. Or worse.



2. It’s disgusting.
So you get to the bathroom, you finally get the damn thing off of you and boom: you are totally naked. And, to make matters worse, your entire outfit now precariously threatens to lay on the floor of this public toilet and then? THEN YOU HAVE TO PUT IT BACK ON YOUR ENTIRE BODY.
Oh, my actual God.
Ew.
No.
That is how people get hepatitis.
...You might have hepatitis.

Basically, this is an article of clothing made for toddlers whose mother’s remove all their clothes to change them. Why would any sane person think, “You know I think adults should be able to wear these too”? Then why on earth would any adult person—including myself— actually purchase and wear them?

Lord.

3. Dignity
Jumpsuits are like a camel toe/wedgie hybrid for which there is, as of yet, no proper name (camel-wedge? Wedgie-toe?)

Anyway. This abomination of dignity is exclusively caused by this chimera-like summer fashion staple.
In the mirror before you leave the house?
     Magical.
You take literally three steps into the hallway?
     Suddenly, 35% of your clothing has wiggled, crept, nay: slithered its way into the sweat-soaked shadows of the Great Unknown.



4. NO ONE can look sexy taking OFF a romper. 
I'm sorry: it is scientifically impossible.
I don’t care if you are Misty Copeland.
You cannot look attractive removing a jumpsuit. PERIOD.

In the heat of the moment, most people struggle hard enough trying to unbuckle a BELT, so good luck with a full body suit. I wouldn’t be surprised if your sexy-time partner gives up halfway, grabs their coat, and walks out screaming “It’s just not worth it.”


[*drops mic*]

#LoveList - BEAUTY

1. Bare Minerals @bareMinerals
BareMinerals will always be my first and my truest love. Like my high school boyfriend. Like that pair of pajamas bottoms I still wear from the 90s. No cheesy or nuanced metaphor could ever describe our love affair accurately.

Not only do I love the creamy, skin-defecting, breathable, and made from natural AF stuff formula, I also love what the company stands for—

“We're from San Francisco, surrounded by artists and innovators who inspire us to think differently, follow our gut instincts and to pour our heart and soul into everything we do.
We create products like no other brand, and we connect with women in ways that no other brand would dare. For over 35 years, we've built a community of strong, passionate women who have become customers—but more importantly—lifelong friends. We create innovative products that are powered by nourishing, skin-loving minerals. We formulate our products with purity in mind, so you can feel good about everything we make. We connect with women in deep meaningful ways because we've never been content with just making them look pretty, we want to make them feel beautiful. WE EXIST TO MAKE A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE IN WOMEN'S LIVES.”

Whatever. Weeping. It's fine.

Whether it be their original powder formula, their mineral veil, blush, warmth, or their new BBc creams and liquid foundations— I can’t get enough. If I ever met the founder, I’d probably have an Lansbury-like moment of explosive and tear-filled gratitude.



2. Clinique Black Honey lipstick - @clinique
Transparent pigment merges with the unique, natural tone of your lips to create something wonderful and yours alone. Sheer, glossy. Emollient-rich and very lightweight.

I would have never bought this product if it weren't for the initial buzz (and I never listen to buzz. In fact: I’m one of those contrarians that didn’t read Harry Potter til 2001 and refuses to watch Game of Thrones, etc.). The color looks extremely dark in the tube which is a little scary, but it is truly a lipstick like no other, something I just…had to try.

I ordered the darker color (there is also a light one called Pink Honey), slid it on and ANGELS SANG.

One coat. Build able. Sheer in an “I just ate a cherry popsicle” way. Soft and creamy. The color is PERFECT. (Incidentally, this was Tzeitl’s lip color of choice for her wedding day—so Clinque had some serious Broadway air time).

Way to go Clinique.




3. Mario Basescu Facial Spray -  @MarioBadescu

The Mario Badescu line of skincare is extensive and generally A+

“Mario Badescu had a vision to bring to New York City his European-style facials—and it was in 1967, out of his two-room Manhattan apartment, when the world-renowned salon and product line were born. News of his unique philosophy and loyal following (which included a star-studded roster of in-the-know New Yorkers) quickly spread and Badescu’s home-turned-studio flourished. Fifty years later, Mario Badescu is the name that continues to transcend generations and span the entire life-cycle of skin: from powerful acne solutions to potent anti-aging treatments, we customize regimens for every skin type and concern imaginable.”

All of that said, my favorite of their products is an absolute must-have, complete with my addicted-as-if-to-meth-like need to be facially spritzed by their Facial Spray with Aloe, Herbs and Rosewater. Cult-favorite. Makeup artist must-have. Revitalizes with dewy radiance.

Boosts moisture and glow. Smells like a freaking rose garden has exploded on your face. It's a rejuvenating mist infused with herbal and botanical extracts (like Aloe Vera, Gardenia, Rose, Bladderwrack and Thyme) that help soothe and re-energize skin—giving it a healthy, radiant glow.
I like to give my skin and makeup a fresh and dewy finish, so I spritz my favorite brush or sponge with this before blending in foundation or concealer. Then I mist my face as a final step to add radiance. I keep this in the fridge so it is nice and cool, and in the middle of the day (especially in summer!) I spray a super-refreshing, cooling boost.



4.  TIGI S FACTOR Tamer  and De-frizzer - @sfactorbytigi

As a life-long multi-textured hair diva, this has been the only product (and I. Have. Tried. Them. ALL) that consistently delivers my unruly hairs the sublime smoothness and a silky touch whilst Sir-Lancelot-level of defense against the Evil Sorcerer Humidity. This defrizzer and tamer fights humidity and moisturizes, and also serves as a heat protectant and frizz fighter by sealing the hair cuticle.

“Scientifically blended ingredients make this the perfect product for sleek, smooth, silky hair,
softening roughness and fighting humidity. Great for blow-drying smooth styles, Smoothing Lusterizer tames fly-aways and smooth’s the hair surface for a perfect finish.”

It also smells like Johnny Depp is french kissing you with a mouth full of Oreos. Or Scotch. Or whatever floats your fancy.


5. The BEAUTYBLENDER

Think all makeup sponges are created equal. Think again. The BeautyBlender is the ONLY makeup sponge out there that is worth the time of day.

“what makes the original beautyblender® so different?

the exclusive material
Super plush, moisture loving. Ensures makeup sits on the surface of sponge for smoother, more uniform blending.

the unique design
The original egg shape guarantees effortless blending in both small and large surface areas.

the look of perfect skin
360º of edgless, flawless application eliminates lines and streaks that other sponges & imitators leave behind.

minimum water retention
Open-cell structure only holds what is absolutely necessary for prime application performance.”

It’s design and material is utterly unique and the absolute perfect consistently to create a totally flawless finish, and in my opinion is peerless. I have every size and shape their products come in, and use them on stage and off.



6. NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil - @NARS
The result of a lipstick combined with the kindergarten-level convenience of a pencil in a jumbo crayon design.

The NARS Velvet Pencil ensures that lips are instantly saturated with rich, vivid pigments and a velvety matte finish.

"I wanted to create a modern way to wear a very classic matte lip. The creaminess of the texture makes them very easy to wear."—François Nars, Founder and Creative Director of NARS Cosmetics

The pigment is so rich and the color instantly saturates in a super-velvety matte finish. It is long lasting, non-drying, is enriched with magical unicorn tears or something to deliver the creamiest texture ever. You can use it for lining, all-over color, or pairing with another lip product.

The Countess exclusively used this product in Cruella (which appears to be discontinued— sad!). It’s my lipstick go-to.

#LoveList - HEALTH

1. OIL OF OLBAS
I discovered Oil of Olbas within my first few days of drama school— my Voice teacher (spoken Voice teacher extraordinaire, Jean Moore) casually mentioned Oil of Olbas like it was as ordinary as cabbage and… I had never heard of it. What was this magical oil? Where did it come from? What was it used for? Jean Moore’s voice was so hypnotizing and her RP so immaculate and and and and “Oiiiil of Ollllbaaaas” whatever. I needed it.

I promptly reported to the CHEMIST, and purchased my first beautiful glass vial of the product that would thereafter be the product (before it was widely available in the USA) that I would beg my British friends to buy and bring to me in bulk, perpetuating our own personal Oil of Olbas drug cartel. What? No shame.

This product is that trans-formative. Okay okay so what the heck is it?

“This 100% pure essential oil formula has been a European household favorite for almost 100 years. Applied to the body, Olbas Oil naturally increases circulation at the surface of the skin, opening up the pores and providing a warm feeling of relief in muscles and joints. But Olbas is also an inhalant; it readily diffuses into the air, providing extraordinary relief and sensory benefits to nasal and bronchial areas, cooling and invigorating dry, inflamed nasal passages due to colds, allergies, sinusitis, and hay fever.
Benefits of Olbas Oil. Inhalation: Olbas Oil is a completely natural essential oil formula that delivers invigorating and soothing sensations to the nasal and bronchial areas. Massage: Applied to the body, Olbas Oil tends to stimulate circulation at the surface of the skin.

    •    Instant Relief from colds, Sinus & Allergies
    •    Massage on Aches & Pains for a Warm Feeling of Relief
    •    Powerful Olbas Formula contains only Pure Essential Oils and?
    •    Cruelty-Free”

I am prone to sinus infections (partially my auto-immune disease, partially my small skull—years ago I would say I used to get one infection per month!) and only Oil of Olbas could relieve immediate symptoms before I had to turn to medicine. I have subsequently gotten he whole sinusitis thing under control, don’t you worry, reader. It appears to be “pricey” for the size of the bottle, but a little goes a long way and it is well worth the investment for the preventative and almost miraculous healing properties.

I use it in every single bath I run (I add a few drops to the bath water and mix with epsom salts for the ultimate detox/relaxation before bed), then if I am feeling “stuffy,” I rub a few dots into my temples, on my nostrils (if needed), on my chest and throat (my sinus infections always give me swollen glands), and sometimes if I’m really feeling frisky, I’ll dabble a few drops on my pillow to just be totally surrounded in European herbal voodoo. (CAUTION! KEEP AWAY FROM YOUR EYES! YOU WILL INSTANTLY REGRET IT AND WANT TO GO BACK IN TIME!)

It is also the only thing I will ever use to muscular pain. I mix several drops in with lotion to help with absorption, and within 10-15 minutes the blood is circulating, your muscles are relaxing and the pain has markedly diminished.

I am also a huge fan of the Olbas PASTILLES, which I exclusively use while singing, if I am making singing sounds, you can guarantee there is literally, always one in my cheek.

Last year, I got Samantha Massell (my Hodel on Broadway, and roomie of @dressingroom51, duh!) HOOKED on the stuff, and we got so enthusiastic Olbas got in touch with Samantha (because she’s just one of those people who gets lots of free stuff? You know those people?) and they sent us a GIANT box of goodies from the Olbas line I had NEVER even heard of!  Inhalers! Diffusers! Tea! Cough syrup?!  Who knew?

I am so happy they are in the USA now, and so are my generous criminal British drug cartel pals who no longer have to smuggle the stuff into the Land of the Free for their crazy friend.

Olbas? ....Will you MARRY ME?


2. The NUTRIBULLET 

Despite the fact that the founder /inventor/guru guy of NutriBullet is a little MUCH, wears a lot of crystals and has an intensity that sort of scares me: THE GUY INVENTED A MACHINE OF PURE GENIUS.

Okay okay I get it.  “A blender is a blender” right? Wrong.
This little guy is compact, simple to assemble and clean, and does not merely “mush up” the food you put in, but has one-of-a-kind technology that extracts the nutrient ingredients on a cellular level, so you get the absolute most out of every single scrap of food you put into your body— every vitamin, booster and delicious taste.

“The Creators of Nutrient Extraction
What truly sets NutriBullet apart from the rest is its incredible extraction abilities. The NutriBullet is the original nutrient extractor, transforming ordinary foods into extraordinary nutrition. With its exclusive Bullet cyclonic action, specialized blades and powerful motor, the NutriBullet converts whole vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, and other superfoods into exceptional liquid fuel for your body. To get the most out of your life, you need to get the most out of your food.”

That makes it the ideal tool for health-conscious people (like myself) who are looking to efficiently fuel our busy and energetic lives.

Also, as a Paleolithic eater (briefly: meaning I eat a LOT of organic fruits and vegetables), the NutriBullet is the most incredible way to fuel myself in the morning. My day begins with my cup of tea ritual (in my adorable and perfect tea pot given to me by Lara Pulver thankyouverymuch), followed by a NutriBullet delight with a base of green veggies. My auto-immune disease means I am almost always fighting anemia, so starting my day with “nutrient extracted” leafy greens is ideal.

Power through the weirdo infomercial and buy it, or, just save yourself the creep-fest and go to their website and buy it today.

PS. Oh yeah. Also? Dear Nutri-bullet, Sorry but you reeeallllly need a new infomercial and I’ll totally do it for you if you want.



3. ALKOLOL

GAME CHANGER ALERT! I had been using a Neti Pot for years, and enjoying the slightly squeemy but totally refreshing sinus-cleaning system from days of yore. But when Alkolol was introduced to the regime? KAPOW. It was a new dawn. The natural formula made entirely of herbal magic stuff, takes the level of cleansing and clearing up to the next level. Breathe free EVERMORE!

“Alkalol is a unique blend of natural ingredients developed over 100 years ago as a nasal wash and mucus solvent. Today it still provides drug-free relief from nasal congestion and irritation caused by sinusitis, allergies, colds and post-nasal drip. And it helps dissolve mucus and clear blocked nasal passages. During nasal irrigation and while using the Alkalol Nasal Wash Cup, the Alkalol mixture flows through your sinuses clearing irritants such as dust and pollen. It also helps improve overall nasal hygiene by preventing mucus from gathering in your sinuses where it can become the breeding ground for bacteria.”

According to the Journal of Family Practice, “Daily hypertonic saline nasal irrigation improves quality of life, decreases symptoms and decreases medication use in patients with frequent sinusitis.”

It is formulated to be used as often as needed (I use a small amount in my Neti Pot daily as a preventative measure and to maintain sinus hygiene, but even more when I feel a cold coming on.) If you have chronic sinusitis or are an allergy sufferer who is increasingly looking to over-the-counter and prescription drugs, Alkalol should be added to your health regime. In fact, buy it in bulk.

4. ACZONE
So secret: I do not have perfect skin.
Oh WAIT? You too? Whaddya know. No-one really does. It's okay.

My skin-perfections have come in the form of what is called cystic acne (acne that never really comes to a head, but lingers under the skin in large and painful cysts—ouch!) and it was totally the pits until I found ACZONE.
And then?
OH. MAH. GAH.
Clear skin. Full Hearts. Can’t Lose.

Aczone cleared my skin in about 10 days and I’ve never gone back. I should do their commercial. I want to. I want to make a YouTube video and explain in depth how painful and isolating acne can be even as an adult, and how our faces is what we all present to world, what is perceived of by others, not just performers! This product is the only thing that ever brought me consistent results, and it more than cleared my skin, it cleared my psychology regarding my Self. That’s powerful stuff, and it is can’t be purchased in a bottle.

Aczone actually has a new formula that you only have to use once a day (whereas previously you used it twice), so is even more convenient than before.  It is very affordable (there are also a lot of fantastic coupons available online if you are paying out of pocket), it lasts forever, is fragrance free, smooth-as-silk and basically perfect.

This is of course, a prescription medication that you can only be prescribed by a doctor, but if your skin plagues YOU, ask your doctor and I wish you the best with your skin journey. We only get one skin! It is invaluable to care for it with love.


Happy health you all!

#LoveList - LIFESTYLE

1.  THINX -  @shethinx

Now don’t freak out: but menstruation has long been a taboo subject in society, yet, it is one of the oldest and most natural things in the history of the world. Long has “the period” been the butt of terrible jokes, totally normal hormonal fluctuations blamed for totally unreasonable female insanity, and the very practical, natural, and totally universal ins and outs of the PERIOD approached with disgust, embarrassment and taboo.

No longer. Not according to Thinx.

I won’t go on, but I will say: it is high time we all get over it and recognize that everybody poops, and half the world gets their period.

Thinx is a Brooklyn based company that is run by silly and ferociously intelligent ladies whom I have never met, but hope to because I own very single one of their products and ain’t shuttin' up about how much I love their mission statement, green vision, and taboo-bursting, general badassery.

Here is what their (super cute) website says:

“We're guessin' you heard about THINX through the grapevine (Grapefruit vine? had to).
The humans behind THINX are smart and funny and a little bit silly (okay, a lot silly).
But we've been hard at work breaking the period taboo since January 2014. But our story starts like, way way back. (Three friends) + (some gnarly period accidents) + (100 million girls missing school just b/c of their periods) + (3.5 years of R&D) + (like, 30 badass team members) = the THINX you know and love and bleed into today.
We're givin' back across the globe with THINX Foundation (who run the world?! GIRLS). Join the revolution at thinx.org!”

2.  URBAN EARS - @Urbanears

These headphones are not only comfortable, loaded with personality, and brightly colored (I own three pairs— seriously), but there is something about the brand: Urban ears possesses a profound understanding of how headphones are used, worn and WHY.

Urbanears is a collective based out of Scandinavia, motivated by a common interest in global relationships, a deeper connection to color, form and people, all while providing the freedom to transcend individuality and unify the sound *experience.*

In their words:

“Our vision is to add a number of elements to the concept of performance. Beyond the obvious sound rendition we have a vision of making headphones that feel more like clothes than chromed plastics. We design headphones with respect to what they are expected to be, but with great attention to the details. An Urbanears headphone is always describable as a classic headphone, rather than a bold design statement redefining the product category. We spend much time making our headphones affordable. Still we want each product to always come with a little extra functionality you wouldn’t expect. And deliver great audio as well as ergonomics. Equally important, we work hard at making Urbanears available in a store near you. The evolution of music formats has allowed you to carry your full collection in the pocket. Music has migrated from designated players into cell phones. It just seems stupid not to add a microphone and a remote, allowing you to pick up calls and communicate. We try to make your Urbanears function with the most possible devices out there.”

Quality. Color. Affordability. I’m sold time and time again. From Lemon to Red to Cobalt.



3.  MOLESKINE - @moleskine

THE LEGENDARY NOTEBOOK! I have been using Moleskin journals (and weekly planners, for that matter!) literally my entire adult life. Every time I branch out to another brand of notebook, I feel like I am cheating on my spouse, and I long to return to the ever-so-perfect weight, paper density, perfect proportions, line-width (or, on occasion, grid-size), and colors (my favorite being red).


“It all started many years ago, with a pocket-sized black object, the product of a great tradition. The Moleskine notebook is, in fact, the heir and successor to the legendary notebook used by artists and thinkers over the past two centuries: among them Vincent van Gogh, Pablo Picasso, Ernest Hemingway, and Bruce Chatwin.

A simple black rectangle with rounded corners, an elastic page-holder, and an internal expandable pocket: a nameless object with a spare perfection all its own, produced for over a century by a small French bookbinder that supplied the stationery shops of Paris, where the artistic and literary avant-gardes of the world browsed and bought them. A trusted and handy travel companion, the notebook held invaluable sketches, notes, stories, and ideas that would one day become famous paintings or the pages of beloved books.

In 1997, a small Milanese publisher brought the legendary notebook back to life, and selected this name with a literary pedigree to revive an extraordinary tradition. Following in Chatwin's footsteps, Moleskine notebooks have resumed their travels, providing an indispensable counterpart to the new and portable technology of today. Capturing reality in movement, glimpsing and recording details, inscribing the unique nature of experience on paper: the Moleskine notebook becomes a battery that stores ideas and feelings, releasing its energy over time.”

My moleskin has accompanied me from San Francisco to Glasgow to The Isle of Olkohn in Siberia (literally), and has ever let me down as my constant companion and vessel for my every thought, idea, whim, doodle and ventilation.


4.  GERMGUARDIAN 3-IN-1 AIR CLEANING SYSTEM

Investing (and not really even that much actual money, might I add) in air filters has been the single best addition to my healthcare regime in the last year, and after truly exhaustive research (also on the part of internet wizard MamaSilbs thankyouverymuch), this model rose to tippy top and has never let me down. I own three in my (very) large one bedroom apartment in Astoria— living room, bedroom and kitchen— covering the gamut of my entire living space.

Last year my doctor quite wisely pointed out that we fight inflammatory triggers not on a daily, but on a minute-by-minute basis, and turning on an air filter removes a huge part of that! If your body doesn’t have to fight air pollution in your home (where most people spend the majority of their lives, particularly the multiple hours they spend sleeping), then your body can use its resources to fight the more vital triggers such as disease! Why make your body work any harder than it has to when all you have to do is plug something in? No brainer.

Why GERMGAURDIAN (which sounds like a Transformer, amiright?)

Well because it has the following sexy attributes: a Pet Pure True HEPA Filter, a UV-C Sanitizer, an Allergen and Odor Reduction system (which works, my downstairs neighbors smokes like a chimney and I don’t breathe a whiff of it!), 5 speeds (including an ultra-quiet sleep mode), and a 28-Inch Digital Air Purifier.

Their words:

"The 3-in-1 Air Cleaning System is perfect for allergy sufferers. True HEPA captures 99.97% of allergens including pet dander, dust mites and pollen. The Pet Pure is an antimicrobial agent added to the filter to inhibit the growth of mold, mildew and odor-causing bacteria on the surface of the filter. According to the American Academy of Pediatric Allergy and Immunology, doctors recommend HEPA air filtration to reduce exposure to indoor asthma triggers. More than just a filter, the UV-C light kills germs, while the charcoal filter captures odors. CADR Rated 125+ and standing 28 inches tall, it is lightweight and ideal to use in both medium to large rooms. The easy to use digital display panel includes UV-C control, a filter change indicator and an up to 8 hour timer. 5 speeds provide high speed allergen control down to ultra-quiet sleep mode."

Best money you will ever spend.


5.  LE PEN
The (currently MOST unfortunately named —because of the racist xenophobic French political Marine LePen naturellement) LePen pens have a smooth-writing, micro-fine plastic point and a sleek barrel design. The ink is acid free and non-toxic. Available in a bazillion fun colors (including some new Neon ones!).  Also really love that the ink colors actually match barrel colors.

They are travel-able, long-lasting, acid free, non-toxic, and smudge-proof. They are perfect for journaling (my favorite), letter-writing, business forms, notebooks, diaries, memo pads, yearbooks, and scrapbooks. I use them in my Moleskin... To write about my feelings, ideas and Tati and Angela Lansbury of course. Because I am nothing if not both obsessive, loyal, and consistent. 

Enjoy!