“A Vision of Dame Barbara Hepworth Told Me to Dump My Girlfriend” - an AFOOT story

Once again, another AFOOT story. 

As part of the Edinburgh version of Whisper Walk from the "AFOOT" series, I give you one of the monologues/short stories I have composed for this deliciously Scottish incarnation (that we on the creative team refer to a "whispers.") 

From the press release:  

Confessional stories, unuttered truths and personal memories are whispered through headphones in a documentary-style walking tour through Edinburgh. Whisper Walk is partly inspired by the Japanese Kaze no Denwa (“wind phone”) and explores how memories are deeply connected to a seemingly ordinary place. Each audience member, equipped with their smartphone and a pair of headphones, is guided through Edinburgh as voices gently whisper stories and personal memories tied to the locations they pass. As participants become trusted confidants, they are invited to contribute their own place-related memory – whispered into a phone placed at the end of the Whisper Walk – to be archived in the ever-growing Whisper Museum.

Writer Alexandra Silber said, “Whisper Walk is, I think, a really beautiful and unique storytelling theatrical experience, under the notion that places hold memories. It explores the notion that our memories are tied heavily to place, and sort of revels in the idea that a seemingly ordinary, singular, flat park bench, a tree, a series of steps, a street corner, a churchyard, a pub, a very specific cross-section of longitude and latitude, can contain a multitude of stacked memories belonging to countless people—really holding these stories and memories from every human who ever crosses that location. This is very much the way we receive podcasts nowadays, and certainly builds upon the radio drama tradition, but the individual audience member, as a result of this, will end up in a specific geographical place and will hear a story about the place in which they are standing, and thus serves as a confessional, a confidant, a stranger on the road to whom the speaker of the story can speak more candidly than to a regular person in their everyday lives.” 

And so, with that. Enjoy this sneak peak and see you in Edinburgh, this August, afoot! 

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If you ever date a sculptor know this: at some point, they’ll try to sculpt you. Emotionally, I mean. Mine, whose name was Lena had been trying to chisel the sensitivity out of me since March. I thought it was love. It was probably just…scheduling.

We were right here at Doctor’s Pub, and I had made the mistake of having a second Negroni. I remember this because I never order a second Negroni unless I’m trying to impress someone or totally self-destruct.
At some point, I stumbled to the loo—not to be ill, but to be alone without Lena describing “the essence of clay,” and maybe cry a little, the way one sometimes does at the Fringe.

And that’s when I saw her: 
Dame Barbara Hepworth— English sculptor who defined the essence of Modernism and by the way is dead—in the mirror. She wasn’t glowing or floating; malevolent or kind. Just… standing there. Stern. Severe. Iconic headscarf just-so. The kind of woman who looked like she once filed her taxes with a blowtorch.

     “You need to leave her,” the ghost of Barbara Hepworth said, really very composed for someone long-dead. 
I blinked. She raised an eyebrow. Was this low blood sugar? Divine intervention? All I knew is that the ghost of Barbara Hepworth had opinions, and honestly, she wasn’t wrong.
     “But she’s brilliant,” I said, out loud, to no one. “She has a residency in Berlin!”
Barbara Hepworth sighed.      

     “She put a plinth in your kitchen, darling. That’s not a woman, that’s an installation.” 

I returned to the table and stared at Lena, while she returned to describing the sensual nature of rebar. We settled up and left. But in my daze, I’d left my credit card behind and as I turned back— there was Barbara once again, her brilliant, ragged hands banging on the glass from inside the main window, mouthing            “Leave her!!’ 

Then she was gone. Just—poof. Back to the realm of dead British modernists and my own unfortunate subconscious.

 

And I thought: Barbara has a point! I don’t want to be part of someone else’s conceptual vision board— and what will I do for six months in Germany? I’m lactose intolerant. 
 

I broke up with Lena the next day. She said I was mediocre and afraid of commitment.
Which are both true.

But honestly?
Sometimes you just have to listen to the ghost of a modernist sculptor in a pub toilet.
Especially when she’s right.

The prophetic Dame.