The “HOPE-O-COASTER.”

 Here we go again. These are (just the *non hospital-administered*) medications associated with my auto immune disease: Ulcerative Colitis.

One of the leading causes of flareups is stress, and despite “doing everything right,” the stress of a global Pandemic has me flaring—and out of remission—or the first time in years.

To say that I’m heartbroken, crushed and disappointed...is putting it mildly. The excruciating physical symptoms and side effects of the drugs are *nothing* compared to the emotional “HOPE-O-COASTER.” Nothing compared to living in a constant state of health-related vigilance married with hope... followed by what feels like crushing “failure” when a proposed solution doesn’t work out.

But I am not a failure! And I share this today because if YOU are living with chronic illness and experiencing setbacks—NEITHER ARE YOU. These were challenging times even before the Coronavirus pandemic, and no solution is one size fits all. The human body is a miracle, and can also be a great big jerk! It’s both. It’s all.

Normally I would keep this information private, but I realized years ago that when I shared my #autoimmunewarrior journey, SO many of you out there were/are suffering in silence all alone (just like I used to!) —out of shame, embarrassment, and fear of being misunderstood or losing friends or work opportunities. I am here to de-stigmatize.

I’m here to tell you: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I am not ashamed of what my body does against my will. I am still loved, I can still adore and support my friends; AND, not only can I still work, but (if I may say so!) I am crushing it! I have discovered unknown strengths and grace! 💪🏼 I don’t think my current colleagues would know a thing was wrong with me if I didn’t inform them because Chrons and colitis is manageable and can even illuminate untold levels of integrity and capacity.

I am HERE. I am ALIVE. I am THRIVING inside this. 

And so can you dear fellow warriors. 

I love you.

Finally, auto-immunity compromises the immune system. That makes me (and all others like me with all auto-immune diseases) in the high risk group for COVID. Please think of me when you wear a mask.