Interview for AOL Build Series

A wonderful afternoon at the AOL Building with @BroadwayGirlNYC, Laura Heywood. 

 "Grammy Award® nominee Alexandra Silber (currently starring as Tzeitel in "Fiddler on the Roof" on Broadway) stars in this intimate musical, "Arlington," which focuses on a young Army wife trying to keep herself from a nervous breakdown as her husband fights overseas.

For full schedule and more videos go to http://aol.com/build"

A Trip to Ellis Island

An incredible journey. My fellow cast members Michael Bernardi, George Psomas and I ventured out to Ellis Island​ first thing in the morning to explore our personal and character’s family history at the world's foremost symbol of Welcome. Here's to the Land of the Free. 

May we remain a country of Welcome. 

33

33 is:

• A normal human spine has 33 vertebrae when the bones that form the coccyx are counted individual
• The atomic number of arsenic
• In reference to gramophone records, 33 refers to a type of record by its revolution speed of 33⅓ revolutions per minute. 33s are also known as long playing records, or LPs.
• The divine name Elohim appears 33 times in the story of creation in the opening chapters of Genesis.
• The French telephone numbering plan used for France. 
• The number 33 was discovered to lead to the essential meaning of life (the Bible) in Dan Brown's 2009 novel The Lost Symbol. 
• A significant number in modern numerology, one of the Master Numbers along with 11 and 22.
• A song by The Smashing Pumpkins on their album, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.   

• 33 is, according to the Newton scale, the temperature at which water boils. The 33 Strategies of War is a book by Robert Greene
• The number of deities in the Vedic Religion is 33.

• The title of the first episode of the 2004 Battlestar Galactica television series in which the Cylons came every 33 minutes
• In motorsport, 33 is, on most occasions, the traditional number of racers in the Indianapolis 500.
• The number printed on all Rolling Rock beer labels!
  
• The 33 is a 2015 English-language Chilean biographical disaster-survival drama film based on the real events of the 2010 mining disaster, in which a group of thirty-three miners were trapped inside the San José Mine in Chile for more than two months. 
  The highest degree in the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry.
• According to Al-Ghazali the dwellers of Heaven will exist eternally in a state of being age 33. (Whoa.)
• In French, Italian, Romanian, Spanish and Portuguese, the word which a patient is usually asked to say when a doctor is listening to his or her lungs with a stethoscope (Trente-Trois, Trentatré, Treizeci și trei, Treinta y Tres and Trinta e Três)!
•  33 is not only a numerical representation of “the Star of David,” but also the numerical equivalent of AMEN: 1+13+5+14=33.
• And last but not least, Jesus's age when he was crucified. 

*

It has been a journey, readers, and I have reached the place longed for when I began (though, who could have dreamed it to resemble anything like this?) 

I have come to edge of all that I know and all I believe and all I could endure and all I could wonder about, and I have-- again and again-- found new firmament beneath my feet so that I could take one more step. 

Have you been there too? 

This is how I believe we all continue: stepping into the unknown and untested, stepping off the cliff to find there IS something there. That the ground will materialize under our feet as soon as we are ready to step on it--and not one moment before. If this is not the usual way to walk around the block, by now I ought to have become accustomed to it: to have faith in the PROCESS.

- I started off 32 learning I would be returning to Broadway as Tzeitel; began rehearsals for, opened and recorded, my beloved Fiddler on the Roof:

- Did a solo show in London and got to celebrate, bury some hatchets, and truly visit with countless lifelong friends. 

- Returned to San Francisco Symphony to sing in their opening gala, and really conquered some of my huge singing myths. 

- Was diagnosed with a life-changing chronic illness, and truly faced being...um, not-alive at 32, not once but twice. (I will reflect more upon, and share those thoughts, when I am ready to...) Fear not: I am finally, in every sense, well. 

- Became a "Paleo" eater (and have never looked back!)

- I cut off ALL. MY. HAIR.

@theemmaexperience

-  Made some very important new adult friends and business relationships. 

The "Pineapples"

- I MET MY ONLY IDOL ANGELA LANSBURY...

   

 

- Did a solo show at Birdland
 
- Finally recorded Arlington for Broadway Records

- Cleared out the 'clutter," and replaced that clutter with better, more appropriate things (from people, business partnerships, and ideas, to actual physical stuff)

- Had the most wonderful year yet at Pace with my beloved babies.

- Got an actual factual ...two-book deal... and will be able to have the ultimate privilege of sharing my life and work with the world, and have a personal dream come true.


In short, significant highs, and some of the most harrowing lows of my life thus far.

*

We can underline, circle, thought-map, highlight and do ritualistic chanting circles 'til our voices are hoarse about our hopes, dreams and expectations; but I have learned (at least thus far) that the actual form and function of our lives will always be different than our initial imaginings. Life will come barreling toward us with its own very personal demands for what we need to do and above all, learn. 

My lessons this year have been about fortitude: 

When things happen that look disastrous, empowerment allows us to see them as a stage of life that's over, and to look for the next challenge that will advance us toward a dream. Fighting against What Is in a fruitless exercise that drains us. The moment we accept what is, we are empowered to find a way to move forward—like stepping into the unknown, the firmament we need always seems to appear the second we take that faithful step.  You take the leap, and almost as a kind of spiritual reward, the net appears. It appears despite having all the proof. 

The journey to peace/contentment/greatness is arduous, and the tangible and intangible costs we may have to pay are high. Remember that nothing of real value was ever achieved without costs. We must have a strong heart, an open mind, and we must move with tenacity and act without retreating. After all, Vision shall always only be a vision until we take that step of fortitude to make it a reality.

Every time I go through this process I feel vulnerable, and what I assume to be my weaknesses, turn out to be my strengths. Although I continue to learn this lesson over and over again (who doesn't have that experience?), I realized anew that no pain that we suffer, no trial or test that we experience should ever be wasted. Adversity paves the way for our Education— to the expansion of such vital human qualities as patience, faith, humility, and the capacity to endure.

The trick is to endure it patiently. 
          . . . Easier said than done. 

It is still possible (and allowed) to dream with a broken body and a broken heart.  
It is possible for those dreams to manifest into greatest reality. 
One must simply, keep going.
 
Life is a great unending opportunity to keep re-framing disaster and discouragement into faith. 
There is pain 
     but there is also, always, joy. 

Day-off Rituals: a List

1. Tea with my [*adorable*] teapot
You know that thing you experience every once in a while where you see a belonging a friend possesses and you quickly become Gollum-level-obssessed with owning it too? You get all “myyyy preeeecioooousssss’ about it and MUST own the thing or you will surely turn into a shriveled up old Hobbit? Yeah. That is exactly how I felt about Lara Pulver’s teapot when I stayed with her in London last September. I saw that she owned, used and loved a perfect PERFECT little teapot and basically I TURNED INTO SMEAGAL. Frankly, I’m surprised I didn’t put it in my luggage but I resisted and simply did the next best thing: I turned it upside down, wrote down all the information, and bought my very own that I now covet beyond all reckoning. I adore both it and the tea it makes.

I use it every morning, but on days off I am able to indulge in it even more.


2. Walking without “purpose”
Nothing clears my head, organized my thoughts, and fills my lungs with goodness better than walking. What began as a family tradition (going on “The Walk” —walking from our front yard, up the hill to Cranbrook Road, around the bend and back again on the border of Birmingham and Beverly Hills, Michigan), is now a way of life. I live in New York City now, which offers better city-walking than almost any other place on earth, but I don’t discriminate—take to the streets and the mind will clear, calm and steady itself. Rain or shine.

Sometimes I walk to music, more often these days to podcasts or audiobooks, sometimes to silence, or simply making myself available to the sounds of the streets themselves.

And there is no time to enjoy walking more than when there is no time table to keep— one can utterly trust their instincts, follow their gut wherever they wish to go, and allow fate to blow you where you “need” to go.

Afterall, I live in New York City! There is always something to take in. But you don't have to live in the city that never sleep to find an adventure. 


3.  Reading
Reading for leisure is a true luxury nowadays, and while I enjoy an audiobook like you cannot believe, there is nothing that can compare to holding a real book in your hands—its weight, feeling each paper page between your fingertips, and the joy of a margin note or the carnal love of the crack of a book’s spine.

So, for a couple hours every day off, I’ll just be over here snuggled up with my cat, reading Anna Karenina, thanks.Speaking of which...


4. Snuggling with Tatiana
...Who wouldn't want to snuggle up with THIS GOOSE?!


5. Calling / connecting with / touching base with close friends
I try to have a meaningful interaction with at least one person on my “apocalypse list.” It doesn't have to be long or particularly meaningful, just a little "Hello, I'm glad you are in the world."

It keeps me grounded and in touch with what matters.


6. Cooking
I like to cook the majority of my own meals, and when you are on an 8-shows-a-week schedule, cooking for yourself can be a real humdinger. Luckily I have a SYSTEM!

The first part of said system is buying a bunch of delicious organic meats and vegetables and things in bulk about twice a year, bagging them up with labels and putting them in my freezer.

Second, on my days off I look ahead at the week to come and pull out a few bags of frozen delights, combine them with a few recently purchased goodies and do a great big cookout (because it takes the same amount of time to cook one chicken breast as it does to cook seven…)

It’s also a great way to relax, invest in your health and well-being, and to listen to lovely music or a good book, all while making magic in my lovely kitchen. Then Ta-DAAA! A week’s worth of delights are ready to go!


7. Writing
Nothing brings me greater creative joy than engaging in creative writing.
Here are a few of my favorites:

• An Open Letter to Rebecca Luker 
• A Letter to Henry 
• We Do it for That Guy   
• Serving Maria
• Lilly 
• What About Bob? and The Dying
• Dad: Ten Years

Arlington: a World Premiere Recording

Broadway Records has announced that Arlington: World Premiere Recording will be released digitally and in stores on June 17, 2016. The album is currently available for pre-order at www.BroadwayRecords.com and Amazon.com

Grammy Award nominee Alexandra Silber (currently starring as Tzeitel in Fiddler on the Roof on Broadway) stars in this intimate musical, which focuses on a young Army wife trying to keep herself from a nervous breakdown as her husband fights overseas. Written by playwright/novelist Victor Lodato and award-winning composer Polly Pen (Goblin Market, Bed and Sofa), Arlington was originally produced Off-Broadway by the Vineyard Theatre in 2014, about which The New York Times declared "Sarah Jane is flawlessly portrayed by the gifted singer Alexandra Silber," while The New York Observer called the score "melodic and lovely." Now, Broadway Records brings Alexandra and pianist/actor Ben Moss into the studio to commit this stirring musical to disc. The album is produced by Michael Moritz, Jr. and Jeff Berger. This album is made in part by a generous donation from The Ted and Mary Jo Shen Charitable Gift Fund.

"Arlington is, without question, the most challenging and illuminating piece of theatre I have ever had the privilege to be a part of-from the controversial subject matter, to the arresting use of direct address, to the monumental vocal task. From the moment Jack Cummings III asked me to be a part of the original 20-minute version at Premieres in 2012, to the fully-realized Vineyard production in 2014 directed by Carolyn Cantor, it was a thrilling and terrifying challenge from beginning to end. That Sara Jane will now live forever through a recording is beyond my wildest dreams and expectations." -Alexandra Silber

Things I've Broken - A List

- Countless glasses
-    and Plates
-    and Mugs
- …a fast
- Concentration
- Some promises

- In, shoes
- I’ve taken a break
- I’ve seen dawn break
- I’ve broken
-    “Through”
-    “Down”
-    and “Out” … all countless times

- My middle finger
- My front door
- The hearts of a few

The Magic Garden, Philadelphia

Performing on The Tony Awards

Sometimes in life, an experience is every single thing you hope and dream and pray it will be. This was one of those.

53rd Street Becomes 'Harnick & Bock Way'

Oh happy day! Did you know that Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick's two greatest works of art are both playing on Broadway? And not only that, we share a street! 53rd Street in New York City to be precise.

Our Fiddler on the Roof cast members joined up with the company of She Loves Me, to celebrate the naming of 53rd street as HARNICK & BOCK WAY (southwest corner of 53rd and Broadway).

It was an event long in the making, and I wish Jerry could have been there. But his family, and Sheldon's beautiful wife Margie and son Matt were all there to cheer on this living legend.

Will wonders never cease? 

Adult-ing: Part 2

6. Use 100% of what you have TODAY.

In The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz tells us to “always do y/our best.”

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”

7. You can’t change anyone other than yourself
Ever.


8. THERE are no victims, only volunteers.

You have to be okay with not being a victim. There are a lot of benefits to never getting your shit together and feeling sorry for yourself and your lot into infinity.

First of all, you get to be right all the time because ‘poor you.’ Next, you get heaps of attention. Then, add a heaping scoop or two of never having to take any risks because you’re such a sad sack, plus ignoring the sometimes super-annoying responsibility of truly dealing with your own life. What a drag. Maybe being a victim and ignoring reality, having your friends pay for lunch, and your parents do your laundry ’til you’re 40 is just like, ya know: better.

I jest of course, but these benefits aren’t really all that laughable— many people set up camp inside these benefits for weeks, months, decades at a time because, frankly, it is nice to not ever pay for lunch— not to mention taking responsibility for your existence is really hard work! Victim benefits aside, there are even more positive results if one chooses the other route. Acknowledge that you are benefiting from the victim mentality, reject its rogue benefits, and move forward like a grown-ass person.

Remember: it is not about what happens to you, but what you choose to DO WITH what happens to you that truly defines who you are.

So what are the alternatives?
I recommend
     radical self awareness
     tons of gratitude
     outward-focused goals and concerns
     and a life full of forgiveness.


Which brings me to:


9. Forgiveness sets YOU free

    “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” —Catherine Ponder

It’s easy to get wrapped up in thinking that forgiveness is just about something you “should do.”
But forgiving is a gift you gift yourself.

An ‘unforgiveness’ lingers like a nasty wound—you are linked to the Unforgiven; your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you over and over again. The emotional link between the two of you is so potent, and continues to inflict suffering in you and (as a result of your inner turmoil) most often, in other people around you too.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu says:

"To forgive is not just to be altruistic.  It is the best form if self-interest.  It is also a process that does not exclude hatred and anger.  These emotions are all part of being human.  You should never hate yourself for hating others who do terrible things:  The depth of your love is shown by the extent of your anger.
However, when I talk of forgiveness, I mean the belief that you can come out the other side a better person.  A better person than one being consumed by anger and hatred.  Remaining in that state locks you in a state of victimhood, making you almost dependent on the perpetrator.  If you can find it in yourself to forgive, then you are no longer chained to the perpetrator.  You can move on, and you can even help the perpetrator to become a better person, too.”

When you forgive you do not only release the other person, you set yourself free too from agony; it is not forgetting, or dismissing accountability, or condoning a hurtful act; it’s the process of taking back our lives so we can move forward and truly live. 


10. Don’t wash wool.
Just … just trust me.

May 3, 2016

This morning I celebrated the Fiddler on the Roof Tony Award nominations with my students at Pace School of Performing Arts.

What a joy.

I could not be more honored or feel more privileged to be ANY part of the Broadway community—to recognize the present, and all it offers in this incredibly landmark season.

But what will always linger in my memory for years to come...?

The simple fact that it was actually a greater joy to be in the presence of the future of our art form, hard at work with them on a day we didn't even officially have class. 

On this "study day" we all agreed to meet anyway—that is how driven we all were to grow together... 

Sometimes people lament the future of "The Industry," but I have peered into the time capsule of the future, and let me tell you: if my babies in that room today are any indication?

The future is bright indeed.

Live at Five with Broadway.com

Live at Five with Broadway.com's Paul Wontorek.

Enjoy!

from 'In the Shadows,' Sonnet 1 by David Gray

If it must be if it must be O God!
     That I die young and make no further moans 
That underneath the unrespective sod 
     In unescutcheoned privacy my bones 
Shall crumble soon then give me strength to bear 
     The last convulsive throe of too sweet breath!
tremble from the edge of life to dare 
     The dark and fatal leap having no faith 
No glorious yearning for the Apocalypse 
     But like a child that in the night time cries 
For light I cry forgetting the eclipse 
     Of knowledge and our human destinies 
O peevish and uncertain soul! obey 
The law of life in patience till the Day.

© hula seventy