"Ac-cen-tuate the Positive": or, A Phone Call with Tyne Daly

Things you need to know to appreciate the following:

1. So I'm going in for Gypsy.
2. I obviously told Tyne about it. 
3. Senses of wonder, humor and irony... (as in "how is this my real life...?")

This is the "transcript" from the middle of our phone call:

*

Tyne: So when are you going back in?
Me: Next week.
Tyne: Haven't we discussed that you don't really have the legs?
     [::sigh::]
Me: ..... yes Tyne.
Tyne: Well you have everything else!! You have the soul! AND you have TITS--and she didn't have those. Plus I think science has proven that if you have tits no one cares about your legs. But you should probably wear dark hose. NOT patterned hose, just DARK, SOLID HOSE--
Me: --Okay
Tyne: If all else fails there are always SHOES--
Me: --OKAY...Thanks Tyno.
Tyne: [singing] --AC-CEN-TUATE THE POS-I-TIVE!
Me: I get it.
Tyne: ...Anyway, are we meeting this weekend? I thought we could go for a walk.
Me: Sure. I could use some exercise for my hideous legs.
Tyne: I'm ignoring that. How about we walk from the top of Central Park to the bottom?
Me: Sure.
Tyne: All we need is the right shoes and the right ATTITUDE. Which, come to think of it, is all we ever need...!
     [Call waiting beeps]
Me: I gotta go Tyno, Len Cariou is calling me back.
Tyne: Tell him he owes me a phone call! And roughly $30.
     [Pause]
Me: ... I will.

[Scene]