20 July, 2009

Vin Diesel: The Facts

The Fast and the Furious was on today. And it reminded me of a few given FACTS about the bad ass action hero superstar-o-rama that is Vin Diesel. I gave it some thought, and here are the facts:

- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures that Vin Diesel allows to live.

- Vin Diesel's hair is too afraid of him to grow.

- When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket

- Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis

- Vin Diesel can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass... at night....

- If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever; it would sweep the Grammys. When asked why he hadn't done this before Vin would reply "Because Grammys are for queers." Then he would eat a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

- When Vin Diesel does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he pushing the earth down.

- Vin Diesel coined the phrase "I could eat a horse" after eating every last unicorn in existence.

- Vin Diesel can win a game of monopoly without owning any property.

- In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you... including the room itself...

...It's just the facts, ma'am.


  1. OKaaaaayyyy.. Al, just step away from the computer and go with the nice men wearing the white coats... lol!
    HOpe you're well
    Abi x

  2. "Vin Diesel coined the phrase "I could eat a horse" after eating every last unicorn in existence."

    ---This is AMAZING... I'm having a fit of giggles with this image reeling through my imagination!

  3. made my day - major soft spot for mr diesel....and the hair comment YES YES YES!

  4. My personal favorite is "Vin Diesel is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit."

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. All of these could be about fallen king Chuck Norris. When did Vin become the new Chuck?

  7. yeah.... and chuck is way more scary.

  8. swallowing the knife... genius



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