23 April, 2009

25 Things

Apparently this is the biggest case of narcissism in Internet history. 5 million notes have appeared on facebook in the past week. 5 MILLION facts.

* * *

1. I am addicted to badcrimedrama. The worse it is, the better.

2. This addiction to badcrimedrama has, in many ways, made me particularly suspicious and careful. Definitely paranoid. I sometimes think about things like "my finger prints are all OVER that..." or, "why would anyone throw their napkin in the bin when it is in plain sight? That NEEDS to be incinerated...." It's probably not healthy.

3. I have flat feet.

4. What About Bob? is my undisputed favourite film of all time. In a top ten list of favourite films, Bob would take up the top three slots. I could watch it on repeat, I could probably quote the entire thing from beginning to end (with intonations and pauses, inflections, music cues and everything). The last time I watched it? Yesterday in my dressing room between shows. Oh! And when I was young, I put a microphone up to the television and recorded it on audiotape so I could listen to it at summer camp and in the car. THAT my friends, is love. Every single time I watch (or, uh, hear) this film I get something new from it. Bob is not only humourous, Bob is strangely moving and enlightened. And well! I could probably write an entire post about Bob and indeed, just might...

5. I love owls. (Also, a friend of mine has a child who thought my name was "Owl" instead of "Al" and it stuck.)

6. I love Halloween. And Autumn. Both of these things combine two of my favourite things: a sort of dark and sinister aesthetic, and the melancholy nature of the fall season. I have a dark side I guess, and it revels in that time of year.

7. My favourite food in all the world is watermelon. But it HAS to be good. There is just no point in eating it if it is mushy or sour or mealy. But good watermelon? I could eat it all day every day. For every meal. Forever.

8. I'm fascinated by redheads. And redheaded culture. I like that redheaded-ness is a genetic mutation. I love how weird it is that redheads need more anesthesia than everyone else. My first proper boyfriend was a redhead ("with hair the color of a ripe orange peel"). I know three left handed redheads (one of whom was that first boyfriend). Redheaded-ness is not only a hair colour, it is a STATE OF MIND...

9. I have a very mysterious connection to the letter "J." Excluding a few key people, the majority of the major players in my life along the way have had J names, or had some connection to the letter J themselves. Examples...
Childhood best friend: Jessica.
Childhood boyfriend: James.
First proper boyfriend: Jeremey.
Brother: Jordan.
Love of my youth: Justin.
Kindred Spirit: Josh
Other major friends: another Jeremy, another Justin and another Jessica.
The one that got away: Jim.
I had a pre-teen crush on another Josh, taken over (in various ways) from a Jill a Jyoti and a Justine. I've been taught very important things by two Jeans, two Judys and a Julia, sung for Jeff, and of course, played Julie Jordan opposite Jeremiah James.

When pointing this phenomenon out to childhood friend Justin Boday, he nodded his head suspiciouly and then pointed to my parents quizzically. What about your Parents Mike and Cathy? Their names don't start with J, his expression read. I thought for a moment and replied: "Jom" and "Jad." Aaaand it stuck.

There are over 20 other Js which shall remain nameless, but they are OUT THERE (and I am certain they know who they are)...

10. I am really.... REALLY good at pinball. Don't challenge me to duel....REALLY GOOD...

11. I know that in admitting this next piece of trivia I will, without question, move down a few pegs in people's estimation: I know it is absolute garbage, but I secretly love Ghost Whisperer and cry at every.single.episode. It is bad. It is bad bad television and I love it. I. love. it. Iloveit. And I am NOT ASHAMED. Yes I am. I am ashamed. But now it is out there and that is that. Am I embarrassed that when we first tech-ed the final scene of Carousel that my reply was "Oh my god that light is so magical and JUST like the one in Ghost Whisperer!" ? --Yes. Yes I am. Am I discomfited that sometimes when (prepare yourself) "G-dub" is on, I turn off my PHONE? Absolutely. Do I care? Not really.

12. I famously get song lyrics mixed up. And allow the confusion to perpetuate within me for decades at a time. Famous (totally sincere) misunderstandings:

Hard Day's Night
"...and I've been working like a log...."

"I Say a Little Prayer For You"
"forever and ever you'll stay in my heart and I will hug you..."

and my favourite lyrical mix-up of all time:

I Will Survive:
"I just walked in to find you here with the fat whore upon your face...."

13. I love red. Anything red. It has always been my colour. I love to wear it, to look at it, if I could, I would bathe in it.

14. I don't think I have ever loved a city more than I loved, and continue to love, Venice.
"Perhaps I am afraid of losing Venice all at once, if I speak of it. Or perhaps, speaking of other cities, I have already lost it, little by little." -- Italo Calvino

15. One time, my friend Kit took me to Bastille Day at the French Embassy in London. Perks included, among other things, a security check at the front gate, shaking hands with the ambassador (his hand was incredibly soft), an Eiffel Tower and Arc de Triumph both made of baguette, and accidentally walking in on the Ambassador's wife in the toilet. Somehow, a hearty "pardon" just didn't cut it. Fantastic.

16. Sometimes, when I don't feel like getting hassled, I pretend to be English just so I can get on with my day without talking about Friends or politics. Sue me.

17. I am really good at making salads. And naming them. If I were to put out a personal ad, I would list salad making as one of my virtues because I am really very talented. Savoury, sweet, pasta, bean, Greek, Italian, Michigan, you NAME it, I can make it and you will love it. I promise. I once made a salad in Sheffield for our New Year celebrations with pomegranate seeds and called it "Persephone's Delight." Good, huh? Or what about "The Traverse City Surprise"?-- my Michigan theme salad made with apple and pear slices, (what I call) "yuppie greens" and dried Michigan cherries?

18. There was a period of my life when I thought I was going to be a meteorologist. I really love everything to do with weather, especially clouds.

19. I mix up words ALL the time. It is an Al-ism. Not important grammatical things like their there and they're, but words with a slightly more complex make-up, insinuating that the psychological blundering is something that lingers deep within my psyche. (I welcome and encourage theories.) One would think that a fairly intelligent girl such as myself would never mix up the words "antidote" and "anecdote," would one? But I do, and many others. And perhaps, if I am honest, I sooooometimes lean in to this little character flaw, and push it a bit, making mistakes I am already aware of, to spread amusement and joy to those around me!

20. My dad invented light beer. Seriously. It's true. Ask my mom. You can call her. I always do when people don't believe me. (And no, we're not filthy stinking rich. Dad sold the patent long before light beer became huge. But it is okay, he was too busy saving people's lives to bother with brewery and such...)

21. I once strolled through Borough Market during The Great Depression of '06, saw a giant rat eating a bit of what I hope was sausage, and thought to myself, “My life is over.” It wasn’t. (Obviously).

22. I love a good footnote.*

23. I am obsessed with All. Things. Russian.

24. For reasons unknown, I pretty much exclusively wear solid colours and simple patterns (if patterns are present at all). By simple I mean, clean, not-at-all-busy polka dots or stripes... and that is pretty much it. Any adventures I take in to the world of pattern are always precarious, and if I really think about it, I believe only one dress I own contains a pattern I would classify as "busy." I have no idea where this comes from. I wonder if branching out is necessary... or if I should just accept that I like what I like..?

25. My parents and I never discussed the fact that Santa Claus was not real. Mom and I still talk about Santa as if he is coming to dinner like Elijah. (Or, say, an actual house guest). It is just a sort of blasee thing, you know, Santa will be coming, naturally. We sort of knowingly talked around the subject during my teens, but still have never really discussed it. I like that. We are a magical family.

* who doesn't?


  1. that's well made me chuckle :)

  2. This was great!!!

    Also... my surgeon mother told me that redheads are unique in that they bleed more (I know.... gross), so they have to especially prepare! I thought you might like to know.

    And red is the most awesome color ever.

  3. Awesome!


  4. i LOVE 15 the most. Brilliant.

  5. This is why i love you.
    and also, have you ever thought of the badcrimedrama, 'J' link.....Jessica Fletcher!!!!!! xxxx

  6. i love reading your stuff. Just do. It makes me smile and I think you are one of the most interesting (in a good way) people I have ever met. I agree 100 percent with number 14. ;-)

  7. Al...I love Ghost Whisperer too, but have until now, remained a secret fan..I have a horror reputation to uphold!! And red is my altime favorite color...by car, bike, clothes, guitar...all red...

  8. Deeply, Madly, Delightful!

    Loved # 4, 12, 19, 20, 22, 25!


  9. s always, you make my day wonderful. (and lovely to get a mention in the J section.)

  10. I want to try that Traverse City Salad!!

  11. i love russian things too! like bf pasha. and valenki boots.

  12. an incredibly impressive top 25... i think the words to the weather song should have been included....

  13. RE No. 8, the redhead fascination:
    Perhaps that's the secret of you and D's longevity...I mean, he's ginger right?

  14. Reading this at work i busted out laughing so hard at the I Will Survive rewording that my boss and bosses boss literally walked out of a meeting to ask me what so so funny.

    Love it.

  15. AnonymousMay 02, 2009

    in response to no.23, you will love my fiance, Yuri!

  16. I am obsessed with Russian things as well. I've recently had a bout of obsessing over Russian writers. It started with Chekhov and the book We (Zamiatin). I also just read One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich. So anyway, I get you on that one.

    P.S. I'm in love with Chekhov and will be forever. Probably.

  17. Ghost Whisperer...*eyes mist in happiness*



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