OH MY GOD.
One of my favourite things about CSI: Miami is how bad it is. That is why I watch it, that is why it is the most watched television show in the world (that is not dramatic exaggeration by the way, it is actually true). And at the centre of the shows suckness is David Caruso as Horatio Cane, taking those sunglasses on and off, delivering horrible one-liners as the opening credits roll, stating the obvious (my favourite was "looks like we got a murder to solve" ... um, yes that would be your job...), and making promises to little girls and little boys about making sure they are SAFE and VINDICATED.
This was on CSI Sunday... I laughed so hard, I was in PAIN. And I nearly squealed the house down:
Dying General: ... Horatio.... Horaaaatioooo....
[takes off sunglasses (excellent) and kneels down beside Dying General]
Horatio: Yes General?
Dying General: Horatio? How... how could I have raised such a man?
Horatio: General, it is NOT YOUR FAULT.
Dying General: Horatio... you must... PROMISE... to end this... once. and. for...all...
Horatio: GENERAL? I PROMISE.
[Dying General dies]
I... LOVE it...
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I've seen a movie with him in it and he brought the same magnificence to that role as well.
ReplyDeleteGet in the HUMMER! NOW! Damn it little Suzy, I will KEEP YOU SAFE! HUMMER!
ReplyDeleteDid you photo shop that picture yourself?
"DAMMIT LITTLE SUZY GET IN THE HUMMER!!!!!!!! Once we are in the Hummer I will show you how to photoshop more pictures of me, Horatio Cane, with my specs on...ONCE WE ARE IN THE HUMMER and, most importantly, SAFE."
ReplyDeleteSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFE AHHHHH!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAhh hahaha Al you crack me up!
ReplyDeleteI also love how the magic Hummer can mysteriously get you to any part of Miami in 5 minutes simply by driving over the same causeway!!
I am so glad I stumbled onto your blog because I just laughed so hard.... Oh, Horatio.... :)
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ReplyDeleteHoratio: [removing sunglasses] I don't know who you think you are, [beat] but you're not going to get away with this. [extended stare]
ReplyDelete[scene unbelievably quiet save for a lone phone ringing out in the bullpen]
Generic Criminal: Look cop, I know my rights and as soon as my lawyer...
[Horatio slams his fist into the metal table spilling Generic Criminal's coffee]
Horatio: I [steely gaze, deep breath & half beat] will END you. That, I can promise you.
Can't help but notice the 2 "Comment Deleted"s. Were those David Caruso threatening your future work in Procedural Crime Dramas? Because, Aluminum, if that's the case. I. Will. See. You. Vindicated.!"Bag it, tag it and let's see what else is there!"
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