15 January, 2008

Ahhhh London: The Poo

So. Tonight I am leaving work, and as I go to exit I am told I have a parcel. Hurrah! The parcel is of adequate size and shape, about the size of two loaves of bread, and fairly heavy. I hesitate a moment, then decide to take it home right away, "what am I waiting for?!" It will be just as heavy tomorrow.

So I happily stumble across The Strand, up Southampton Row and onto the cobbles of Covent Garden Piazza. Lovely.

At this point I think to myself:
"Hey there Self, gee I sure wish I had a large bag to carry this parcel in. With my already large, filled-to-the-brim shoulder bag, the strain is juuuuuust over the comfortable mark.

And suddenly! Like magic! A large, paper MONSOON* bag appears out of the corner of my eye. AHA!! It is the perfect size and shape to house my parcel. I pick up the bag, I shake it open, I prepare to house my parcel when SUDDENLY I sniff...

[sniff. ... sniff ...]
OH DEAR ...YEP. There it is. Clear as day.

It's human feces.

No no, it couldn't be a dog's; it is too large, too MASSIVE a turd to be anything but human and this gets me thinking: how desperate does a person have to BE to shit in a bag in the middle of Covent Garden and NOT EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO THROW IT AWAY?

A bag.
Full of kaka.
What next?
Ahhhhh London.


  1. I'm giggling but I'm so appauled by that!
    The Scum!
    That's just crazy crazy crazy talk!


  3. You found my Bag!!!!!!

  4. Eeeuw! That is vile. I remember eating out in covent garden one time and espying a homeless man having a poop down an alleyway. Although he had the decency to wrap it in paper and pop it in the bin it still put me right off my fish and chips!

  5. Thank goodness I've already finished lunch...

  6. read with your american accent that was hilarious! Mum is still crying with laughter!
    x t

  7. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. hope the parcel ended up being a great prezzie!

  8. That is Hillarious!!! I left London with some amazing, once in a lifetime stories. It's good to see that the good times never stop.

  9. That is so wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    M x



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