Condensed Film Scripts: The Last Samurai

In case any of you missed this uh, AWESOME film, I thought I would save you the trouble of having to endure it. Life is too short. (This might have to made a serial...)

The Last Samurai

MAN: Please go to Japan and show them your awesome ways!
[wields sword with awesomeness]

TOM CRUISE: I will be better than all the stupid Japanese Samurai 'cos I am awesome.

SAMURAI: You fight so awesomely well that we will train you to be the best Samurai!

TOM CRUISE: Yes, I am that friggin' awesome.

[later...]

TOM CRUISE: I have become the best Samurai ever, and am totally more Samurai than the rest.

GIRL: I love you whitey Samurai.

The End.

Another note from Simon...

Simon kindly agreed to help with my visa application. A tumultuous task. He handed me the formal paper version of his letter whilst I was busy dissintergrating after the final performance of The Woman in White, which he kindly returned to witness. The next day I received this e-mail from him:

Dearest Creature, ex-Laura and Soon-to-be-Diva sublime,

Here is my little note. I will have delivered it to you in person tonight, but in case under the weight of all the emotion it got mislaid, or perhaps melted, here's what I wrote.

God bless you, sweet child.

Simon x

What a gem. What a marvellous man!

Behind the Scenes - The Woman in White

A photographic recap of the last 10 months. What a journey.

A Green Life

A Greener Life

Every day you are using water and energy, and creating waste. That means, every day you are impacting the environment. These tips will help you make choices with the good of the environment in mind.

* * *

Energy

- Conserve fuel by turning down the heat at night and while you are away from your home — or install a programmable thermostat. Turning down your thermostat by just 1°C could cut your carbon dioxide emissions by over 5% as well as saving you around £30 per year. Over 60% of our household carbon dioxide emissions are due to the fossil fuels (such as natural gas) which we burn to heat our homes. By taking a number of sensible steps we can reduce the heat we use, save money on our bills and substantially reduce our emissons.

- Use compact fluorescent light bulbs. They are inexpensive, and easy to install. Energy saving light bulbs last up to 12 times longer than normal bulbs, so each one can reduce your lighting costs by up to £78 over the lifetime of the bulb. There's a wide range of attractive designs now available and they emit 70% less carbon dioxide than normal bulbs. This is one of the easiest ways to make a difference!

- Insulate your home against heat loss and periodically check insulation. Insulating your house is one of the most effective ways of reducing your carbon dioxide emissions. For the average house 30% of the heat simply escapes through the walls and is wasted. You can also insulate your loft, floors and windows too.

- Fix air leakage with weather-stripping and caulking.

- In the winter, change your furnace air filters once a month. The heater uses more energy when it is full of dust.

- Avoid using cars and airplanes — walk, cycle or use public transportation whenever possible. The way you choose to travel significantly effects your impact on climate change. On average each us in the UK pours 3.3 tonnes of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere each year from our personal car usage and a further 1.3 tonnes from our aircraft flights. It's unlikely to be practical for us to give up our cars and stop flying altogether, but we can make a significant difference by thinking about the choices we make and weighing up other options for how we get around.

- Avoid anything battery operated (or use rechargables or solar rechargables if batteries are unavoidable).

- Buy locally — not only is it good for the local economy, it will save energy because products haven’t traveled across the globe to get to you. Also keep seasonal foods in mind. Again, people aren't really meant to eat fresh strawberries in January, it means they have travelled a great distance and used a considerable a,ount of jet fuel to get to you, whilst losing a huge amount of nutrients along the way.

Waste
If everyone consumed the way we do in the UK we would need 3 planet earths!

Our contribution to climate change doesn't just come from our travel, our electricity use and our heating. In fact almost everything we do in our lives involves products or services that have consumed energy to be made or transported, thus emitting carbon dioxide and causing climate change.

We can have a huge positive impact by aiming to live and consume in a "sustainable" way. What's more we won't just make a difference by our own lifestyles, but also from the influence we have on others.

- Don't buy things you don't really need or want.Most of us far more 'stuff' than we ever need. Every time you buy a product you're responsible for the emissions due to its manufacture, packaging and transport. So only buy stuff you really need or will actually use.

- Buy local food to avoid unnecessary "food miles." When you buy food from overseas you're responsible for the "food miles" incurred by shipping that product to the UK. Why not reduce your impact on climate change by buying local produce instead? It tastes better too!

- Buy organic or grow your own. Conventional intensive farming methods use 25-50% more energy than organic farming per unit of product. Buying organic or growing your own significantly reduces your impact on climate change.

- Use a vegetable compost at home. Using a compost for organic waste is easy and avoids it decomposing in landfill sites where it will emit methane, a dangerous greenhouse gas which contributes heavily to climate change. It's also handy to use in the garden.

- Make an effort to recycle. We live in a throw-away culture, but if packaging, glass and other items can be recycled that reduces the energy needed for manufacturers to get the materials to make new items. It saves things ending up in landfills too.

- Re-use rather than throwing away. Every time you throw something away it gets buried in the ground and energy needs to be used to make another one. Save energy by keeping and re-using packages and bags more than once.

- Give unwanted items to charity. If you don't want something and it can't be recycled, don't simply throw it away. If you give it to a charity shop someone else can use it and that saves on unnecessary new products being made and energy wasted.

- Use refill packs. A great way to reduce on packaging for the products you use is to buy refill packs for items like soap powder - they use less packaging and therefore have lower carbon emissions from manufacturing.

- Buy less packaged food. The more packaging your food has the higher the energy that was required to make it. Try to buy produce and goods with less packaging and send a signal to manufacturers that we don't need that kind of wastage.

- Don't waste food. Energy is used in packaging, transporting and heating food, so if we waste food rather than consuming it that's a lot of needless carbon dioxide emissions. Think before you throw it away.

- Drink tap water instead of bottled water. Tap water is clean, fresh and free so why buy expensive bottled water? Energy is consumed for each bottle created, filled and transported, leading to unnecessary carbon emissions and yet more plastic in landfill sites.

- Take your own bags (canvas or cloth is preferable) to the grocery store. If you take plastic bags, use them until they are worn out.


Useful Links:
www.whatyoucando.co.uk
www.thenag.net
www.foe.co.uk
www.greenpeace.org

I Believe My Heart

With Damian, in our penultimate week at The Palace.

Chocolate Christmas

A little something I did for the holidays.
Singy voices provided by yours truly.
Enjoy.

'Deep Chess' by Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Life itself like championship chess
dark players jousting
on a checkered field
where you have only
so much time
to complete your moves
And your clock running
all the time
and if you take
too much time
for one move
you have that much less
for the rest
of your life
And your opponent
dark or fair
(which may or may not be
life itself)
bugging you with his deep eyes
or obscenely wiggling his crazy eyebrows
or blowing smoke in your face
or crossing and recrossing his legs
or her legs
or otherwise screwing around
and acting like some insolent invulnerable
unbeatable god
who can read your mind & heart
And one hasty move
may ruin you
for you must play
deep chess
(like the one deep game Spassky won from Fischer)
And if your unstudied opening
was not too brilliant
you must play to win not draw
and suddenly come up with
a new Nabokov variation
And then lay Him out at last
with some super end-game
no one has ever even dreamed of

And there's still time-
Your move


-- Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Hello Autumn...

Autumn arrived today with a sort of moody reluctance... time to break out my cosy red coat!

As lovely as summer is, there is something truly magnificent about being bundled up nice and snug in the lovely red coat...

Simon Callow's note

When Simon took over in the role of Count Fosco, there was a big ballyhoo. In an attempt to make the role "his own" he requested a few changes to the previous Fosco track, and called actors individually to his company to discuss ideas. These invites were presented on (not IN) posh white envelopes and placed at the entrance of our dressing room doors. Imagine the following in huge calligraphic scrawl:


"Al DEAR. I don't want to disturb you when you might
be snoozing/ winning the all-england soduko
championship/ writing a memoir of your Glasgow youth
BUT... Sir T Nunn asked me to "free up" A GIFT FOR
LIVING WELL [his song] and I have one idea which would
include you. I am in the [makeup] chair from 7 and
can't possibly move. Could you BEAR to pop down and
discuss it?
x Simon"

... that is fine.

On the steps on the Palace...

Happy July!

Our first week in this amazing theatre, absolutely huge, ornate, glorious and beautiful. Grey lacquered cherubs line the dress and grand circles. 2,000 seats, 4 levels, state-of-the-art sound (you can whisper and it is heard!), a revolving stage, and an amazing projected set. It is so utterly overwhelming. But it is feeling more natural, I just has to convince myself I belong here... in fact, if I wasn't here right now people would be looking for me....

Lovely Dean Chisnall (also straight out of drama school) and I, were sharing our awe. So what if we are green! We have a right to our first moments as professionals on the actual stage! It was marvelous.

I feel myself becoming more confident with each bit we go over in the space, and all the backstage labyrinthine madness is slowly starting to make sense. Yet... I think Ruthie, Michael, Damian and myself feel THE OPENING approaching, and simply do not feel ready for paying punters in the least.

I feel vocally prepared. Only the tiniest bit nervous about The Finale with Michael... it feels under-rehearsed, lacking in the "muscle" required for total confidence. Ruthie calls this "bruising it in" to the voice. I know what she means. You need to sing it every day, more than once, possibly overdo it, find the places you are going to be need to utilize every day, work them up to the desired standard. That way when it comes to delivering 8 times a week, your voice is strong and the technique is in place to cope with any variations (illness, exhaustion, etc).

We had one very public FIRST Confrontation rehearsal in Soho Laundry: having to learn the blocking (without the very necessary revolve), discover the moments and motivations, as well as vocally deliver in front of all the creatives (including Trevor) as well as the entire company. It was very uncomfortable. Eventually one has to switch off to everything but the given circumstances and the presence of Trevor, Michael and myself. Who cares what everyone else thinks, it has to get done! And if it didn't get done that day... well, it wasn't going to get done at all.

I am certain it will all become crystal clear in time.

Also, so much fine technical detail to remember. Two microphones, the wig, the piano, the projections, the revolve. I also have 11 costumes, and every single change except for the first one is a quick change. They all have to be rehearsed within an inch of their life. Helen. Wonderful dresser Helen has been an angel and very very patient and helpful. We will get it!

I am writing it all down.

But the great thing is, I am learning it all from the top. This is how it is DONE at it's best. And though the learning curve is high, everything else after this experience will seem easy. It seems to be in the stars that I learn most of my lessons this way. It is no bad thing, even if it causes momentary discomfort.

Have had some lovely chats with Anthony and Edward lately. Edward is such a hoot, I want to be his niece! He was telling me about his dream the other night: the grey cherubs from the theatre came to him and said "New Cast is awfully good, eh?"

I have only recently realized my life has suddenly been flooded with a new cast of characters.

And 22 years old tomorrow.
Mom arrives for a big visit. She will attend my Graduation in Glasgow for me, and then back to London for the opening.
What a Birthday Delight, the happiest in a very long time...

Laura

Laura is the face in the misty light
Footsteps that you hear down the hall
The laugh that floats on a summer night
That you can never quite recall

And you see Laura on a train that is passing through
Those eyes, how familiar they seem
She gave your very first kiss to you
That was Laura, but she's only a dream...

Woman in White Announcement on Playbill.com

. . .

IT'S REAL

"She could not have reached this white serenity 

except as the sum of all the colors, 

of all the violence she had known." 

-The Fountainhead