17 May, 2009

It takes three

What a week.

It took...

A cut pas de deux
a carnival boy crisis
The threat of a show cancel
The great Adam Cooper
The Rodgers & Hammerstein Estate
and THREE Julie Jordans

...to get through this hell of a week, but if you could have been there on Saturday night, feeling the thrill of togetherness, experiencing the rush of an entire company plunging the period, the full stop on to the end of this violent sentence of a week; well... you would know what it feels like to overcome tremendous adversity and emerge victorious. And victory it was.

Saturday was the best show we have ever done. We burst, we radiated, we trembled with the energy--like the pile of ash that remains from a fallen phoenix. Or a collective creature raging against the dying of the light. This one is for us, we thought. This one is for principle, for nothing other than the fight. We are fighting against our fire going out, "spark by irreplaceable spark." We will not let the heroes within us expire. But Saturday? We were magnificent. Because we are magnificent, and can not be spoiled.

The crowd gave full throttle cheers from the first moment, and were wiping tears off of their chins by the end. The audience was on their feet in a way they have not been since Press Night. And we, more than we ever had, had earned it.

Sometimes in this world, we get burgled. We lay our souls open and bare, like a trusting person would a front door, and people take advantage of our openness, of our extraordinary courage to be so, and burgle us. And who knows why? Jealousy, greed, shattering envy, fear, arrogance, carelessness. The list is infinite. But the terrible transparency of truth reveals these dark forces to be brittle and stooping and banal.

What I do know is this: we could not have reached this serenity without all the violence we have known. But then again, isn't that true of everything?


  1. So you're all now 50 times stronger than before right ?
    And wait a minute - Rosie and Tash were on ?
    Long live Carousel :)

  2. 1. As you know, I never go off. (I took Tuesday off as holiday because I needed a psychological break. Sometimes when you have an emotionally demanding role, you have to cut insanity off at the knees.)

    2. Rosie was on Tuesday.

    3. Then, Tuesday, we almost had to cancel the show because we lost all three carnival boys in one go, so they CUT THE BALLET from the show...

    5. Wednesday I was back, and The Cooper was on. AMAZING.

    6. Rosie (my 1st cover for those of you who don't know) has NEVER EVER been off (literally) until Thursday because she broke her toe.

    7. Thursday was a tough day for me (for reasons I will NOT get in to, but suffice it to say it pushed normally totally WITH IT me over the edge)...

    8. And in between shows... I had to go home. It was the responsible thing to do. Best for the show and best for me.

    9. But Rosie was off for the first time EVER and Tasha (who had recently had a week on as Carrie and has been experiencing vocal problems) was THROWN at at the half.

    10. SECRET: What was marvellous, what was truly a beautiful communion of the universe, was the following-- Tash has been down lately, frustrated by her voice. Rosie's energy has been really dampened as well, and I was thrown for a loop and NOT on my game. The funny thing is, Rosie and Tash are probably my closest friends in the company (a funny, rare, little cover thing that happened to me in WiW as well!) Anyway, when I went off thursday night, we all got what we needed. Rosie got a break, she got to top up and refuel her energy tanks. I, got Rosie, I didn't need anyone more than her. And Tash? Tash got a VICTORY. She needed to save the day.

    11. Saturday all returned to normal, everyone back, everyone on it, everyone wonderful. And the three people that hugged first? Me, Tasha and Rosie. It took three...

  3. it's just been such an amazing journey ;)

  4. Wow, I'm so excited for you that I could almost shed a tear myself. You sound just so joyful about the state of your craft right now. May it only get better!

  5. wow, sounds like we really missed something!



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