In My Life: Justin

justin flagg

glasgow, scotland

2005

This is what it is all about...

Today was the best rehearsal day I have ever experienced in my life.

For so many reasons.

I have walked on Broadway stages before. I have even performed on them. But there is nothing like stepping onto a stage you are going to live on for a while, for the very first time. And this time? This time, that stage is on Broadway. And there is no way to describe it but it is simply different. As I walked into the theatre I clutched Jeremy Cohen's hand-- Sophie and Manny reunited on the Great White Way. "I will never forget this moment," he said. I couldn't agree more.

There we were, on the stage, and everyone was so excited! Garret [Sorenson], who has sung on some of the most prestigious operatic stages on earth was as gleeful as a child in a 650 seat house. Sierra [Boggess], returning to Broadway after a stint in our beloved London was orchestrating the picture taking and "moment marking" like a gleeful big sister watching her siblings going to Prom. We shouted! We squealed! We hugged. We allowed ourselves to feel the moment. We are an exceptionally loving and jolly bunch.

We returned to rehearsal and achieved a new kind of theatrical divinity none of us could ever have dreamed possible. The already magical scene reached new depths, new heights, new glory, and we all felt it (there is no way to articulate these tingly moments in the theatre, the closest comparison I can offer is that feeling of kissing a person who is the one...). Progress. Catharsis.

But then, as if all that were not enough, I had a singing session that accessed a quality in not merely my voice, but in my self, that no words could ever articulate. Suffice it say that I sang like never before.

I returned home that night to my family, all visiting from California-- my mom, my brother and sister in law, my two little nieces, and created more memories. Food, laughter, stories at bedtime...

I don't know if I can find the words to describe the quiet perfection of May 19, 2011 exactly, but perhaps finding those words is not important. This kind of contentment, happiness, peace? It is a quiet thing. It requires no language, only silent inner knowledge, like a candle glow of contentment.

Reader? This is what it is all about.
This is what life is all about...

class in in session...

Lo-Fi Around The World

HARK!!
Hyperbole alert!!
Check out the trial of the Lo-Fi application and your life will change.
No.
For reals.
Totes.
Fo sho.
I cannot shove any more ironically used, 21st century tweenage slang in here to emphasize this point thoroughly enough.
(Oh, and from experience, don't download it if you have anything meaningful to do within the next 24 hours... because... you might not come up for air and you might forget your friends' birthday or not go to a meeting or be so distracted that you write down the wrong phone number or forget to grab that last load of laundry from the dryer or when you sweep the basement, you accidentally dump the entire contents of the dust pan into the bag of clean laundry from the dryer... Those are some options. So beware. The program is pretty much *that* great...)

"The 12th of Maaaaaaayyy..."

So.... no we aren't dorks. We just loooved each other and are pretending we are still in the show. kind of. on a relevant date mentioned in the piece.

...that isn't dorky! it's. :::sigh::: okay. point taken.

So here it is: images from our heavenly Hello Again Reunion on "The 12th of Maaaaaay" in Sheep's Meadow, Central Park. Please note that we deeply missed some notable men (Bob Stillman and Jonathan Hammond to be specific)! In fact, as The Young Thing Blake Daniel said in one of the best notable quotables of the season: "None of my sex partners are coming." Word, Blake. Word.

But Vladamir, I hardly knew you!

Hitchcockskya

Me: Hi, this is Alexandra Silber, I'm calling for Vladamir.
Them: [dead silence, then] Da.
Me: Well okay, [nervousrapidfirenerdyvoice] soooo I am doing some research on the katorga forced labor system in Imperial Russia [isoundliketheguyfromTheSimpsons] and I was told that Vladamir was available for a discussion sometime today?
Them: [silence.] Vladamir is out. [more silence]
Me: Okay...well I--
Them: --HE WILL NOT RETURN.
Me: [what?!] ...um, EVER?
Them: Da. EVER. I go now. Goodbye.

...whoa...

Things My 5 Senses Love: A List

Tastes
Coffee
Anything Oliver Friendly cooks.
Sea salt
Ice cold watermelon. (A whole one. Just for me. No sharing. Okay maybe a little sharing...just a touch...)
pure, pure water

Sights
Piles of books
Lemons
Nick Bantock's art work (and company, but that is not so much a sight, I'm trying to be terribly strict here!)
Early morning sunshine
old photographs
dappled sunlight through the leaves
The extraordinarily blinding colo(u)rs in nature

Sounds
Meaningful conversations
The sea
Trains
Lilly playing the oboe
The laughter of people I love

Feels/Touches
Holding hands (particularly with long time favo[u]rite hand-holding partner David Fetzer)
Holding on to anyone you love
My childhood stuffed animals
The cool side of the pillow

Smells
Rosemary / Lavender / Peppermint in noparticularorder
Café Hula in Glasgow
Fresh Michigan air (especially after the rain)

...and you...?

"Zebra's Walk" ©Nick Bantock

In My Life: Emma

Emma Williams

London, England

2010

Det. Alexandra Eames' advice to Alexandra Silber

go on... have a cookie...because you are tall...

[At rise: me on the set of Law & Order: Criminal Intent sitting across from Kathryn Erbe who plays Detective Alexandra Eames. It has been a long day. And now there are freshly baked chocolate chip cookies sitting at the food table and the odo(u)r is wafting our way...]

Kathryn Erbe: Cookies! [she turns around with glee] Are you gonna have a cookie?
Me: They have cookies again? [They had cookies yesterday-- is this heaven?!]
KE: They have them every day. And they are hot. And delicious.
Me: I missed them yesterday...
KE: Well, then you should have one today!
Me: I dunno... [I am thinking of myself in these ill-fitting jeans for all the world to see... in HD...]
KE: ["Cookies are serious business" voice] You should have a cookie. You are young.... [she is deadpan] and tall...
Me: ...Okay...
KE: Please. For me.
Me: I promise.
KE: Thank you.


Cookie consumed.

What goes around comes around...

... indeed. There are many nebulous themes in Hello Again, but if we glean anything at all, that one is certain. And like everything, al things must end, it only means new beginnings, and indeed, the ephemeral nature of the theatre is what in fact provides it's poignancy... Farewell Hello Again. Thank you to everyone who made the experience of my New York debut possible. Life-long friendships were established. The overcoming of challenging personal and artistic obstacles. We sang in our underwear. We did ..."other things..." On tables and things. We got nominated for awards. For a lot of awards. We won some of those awards. (And heck, I even got my Equity card...a touch on the tardy side mind you, but I got it...)

So farewell lovely group. "I'm sure we'll be saying hello again..."


Let us just finish with a quote from the wonderful creative mastermind, Michael John LaChiusa himself:

"This cast of Hello Again is one of the most remarkable ensembles I've ever seen onstage-- and I've had the privilege of assembling some pretty remarkable casts over the years for my shows, including the original production of Hello Again...

"Over and over again, for the last month, people have been writing to me and repeating the same thing 'this restored my faith in theatre-going.' It's sort of cliché, of course, as a sentiment and the compliment. But I sense something more: there's a hunger out there for what TG provides with Hello Again. There's a sadness in knowing that people are hungry, of course-- but also a great joy in being responsible for providing a little nourishment in the desert. You've done just that..."

In My Life: London

london

england

2008

I stole Rebecca Luker's toothpaste...

Rebecca Luker: actress, soprano and flouride benefactor extraordinaire...

I did.
I did.
And then I confessed.
And she let me keep it.

[*travel back in time music*]

[At rise: Hello Again post show bustle. The entire show Rebecca and her über incredible husband Danny Burstein have been sitting just beside the central mirror-- starring straight into my freakin' face. I must hasten to add however, that in contrast to the ridiculous line-up from the McNally tribute concert the previous night, this moment seems over-come-able compared to bowing between Edie Falco and Roger Reese, and being in the mere presence of THE Angela Lansbury...but still, this is Rebecca Luker and I have loved her for years and she made me publicly weep when we shared a stage at Lincoln Center in January, and yes, OKAY, I broke The Secret Garden cassette. Fact. Plus this moment might be okay if I didn't have a guilty conscience {see title!}...]

Rebecca: Alexandra? Hi! Do you remember me?

Inner monologue: Do I remember you? Do I remember her?! Um. Well gosh how do I say this? Why yes, yes I do. I can’t believe I was in the same room as, let alone the same concert as, let alone bowed next to-- you— I broke The Secret Garden cassette lady. I broke it. You were the standard of soprano that formulated my entire youth. I listened to you with my friends on my bunk-bed at summer camp. [incredulous scoffing noises] Do I freakin' remember you? Puh-lease. I can’t believe you remember me. And furthermore, just so we're clear, just so everything is out on the table: I stole your toothpaste. That’s right. I viciously stole the toothpaste I asked to borrow just so I could nonchalantly speak to you for a millisecond in the Lincoln Center dressing rooms. I am a thief. A dirty, pathetic, childish, star-struck thief with incredibly clean teeth.

Real dialogue:

Rebecca: [continued, she is sort of staring at me now, willing me to respond] ...from Lincoln Center?
Al: [fake nonchalance. Don't give away your crazy Al!] Yes, Rebecca, of course. So nice to see you…
R: Well done--You were wonderful tonight.

[I think for a moment that I might need respiratory assistance.]

A: Thank you so much.
R: And the piece. The performances. The music! My goodness the music I want to sing every single song in this sh--
A: --I STOLE YOUR TOOTHPASTE.

[there is a terrible moment here where she stares harder at me and I stare hard back. As if, in doing so, we can both hope, we may will, we can possibly pretend that last little outburst just did not happen. But lest we forget that I am in this story, we know that it cannot end there. We know, all too well, that it is simply in my nature to just make things far, far worse...]

A: AND I AM SO SORRY.
R: ...what?
A: I AM SORRY. I stole it and it wasn't even totally an accident.
R: What are you talking about?
A: Plus IT WAS DELICIOUS.
R: Really? [she smiles]
A: And I know I came in and asked for toothpaste and you let me take it but! but! but you said you would come back for it and although you didn’t, [huge sigh] I didn’t exactly remind you. [There. Said it.]
R: [she pauses, eyebrows cocked, considering me] ...Are you being serious?
A: [unfortunately, I am] Yes.
R: Truly?
A: It is in my dressing room right now, let me go get it for you.
R: Darlin’… [she is amused and starts to laugh in the most charming way, the manner of a true lady] you know what? You can just go ahead and keep it. [A lady: see what I am saying?]
A: Really?
R: Yes, seriously.
A: Um… thank you.
R: Gosh. You are so funny [she laughs, it is sweet] and a bit odd.
A: Thank you. And odd, yes, [hands up] guilty!
R: And you were wonderful in the show. I mean your voice...
A: [inner crazy 11-year-old-squeal] Coming from you… that means the world...

It does.
Words cannot describe how much it does.
We hug.
And say goodbye.
And I just brushed my teeth and frankly my teeth now feel as pure as Rebecca Luker's very own crystalline voice, and as clean as my conscience.

Ask Al: Secrets of the Self-Employed Part 1

Inspired in part by a list made by illustrator and author Keri Smith, here are the secrets of the self-employed in three parts... because basically everything worth reading is a trilogy. 

1. First, and most crucially: There are no actual rules for how to become a successful [*insert profession here*]. 

You are the trailblazer. You are the South Pole explorer. You are the Conquistador. The Amerigo Vespucci. You are the Lewis & Clark of your path! So blaze that trail. Make your own path. Take heart. Have courage. 

2. Take risks on a regular basis. 

Whether they be small (“today I am going to wear a brighter color and just see what happens”), medium (“today I am going to inch outside my comfort zone by writing to that [insert inspirational artist person here] I've always been meaning to contact") or large ("that thing? that HUGE eff-ing thing I don't wanna face or confront...? Today is the day I confront it..."), take that risk because as I've said before, fortune favors the brave my friends. 

3. The whole point of being “self- employed” is that you are always working for yourself, even when you technically may work for others. 

Okay. Okay, so sometimes it can feel like you are just the hired hand. And okay, admittedly, some people can be really challenging to work with. That is going to happen. But it is important to keep a professional, positive outlook, and to maintain your self-value and self-respect even when the going gets tough. Plus! There is always some way to turn what feels like “just a job” into, at the worst, a valuable learning experience, and at its best something really exciting. Take every opportunity to experiment with new techniques, use every experience as an opportunity to learn about a new topic. 

4. Don’t worry about the grades/marks you received in school. No one will ever ask what those were when you leave. 

No but seriously.

5. Move your body every day. 

Studies suggest that increased oxygen to the brain is a greater source for creativity than “creative brain exercises”. I have certainly found this to be true for myself (after a walk or a run I always feel clearer, inspired, and “juiced up!”) Plus, aside from the many health reasons for this, moving also helps you to work on ideas subconsciously. Ideas and solutions will come in when you least expect them.