25 January, 2009

No problem is too big that it can't be solved by Jessica Fletcher

Tonight I made myself laugh onstage for over a minute.
The kind of thing you would specifically enjoy because the star of this anecdote is the one, the only, Jessica Fletcher.

In the Prologue, two little girls steal toffee apples and I usually improv some hullabaloo like
"crime in this town" or,
"this town isn't what it used to be" or,
"Why! I recall when a dog could lie down in the middle of Main Street and not be disturbed all day!' -- or something wholesome to that effect...

But today, TODAY I watched a double-decker of MSW, and this is what came out:

"CATCH THEM! Ohhhhhh the CRIME in this town! Who would've thought that it could happen right HERE at the carnival! We need Jessica Fletcher to teach those little girls a LESSSON! She could tech them a thing or two about the criminal mind! In fact, let's send for her! SHE IS JUST DOWN THE COAST IN CABBOT COVE!"

... I was met with three very confused and totally unamused faces. I thought I was a GENIUS. I laughed so hard at my own cleverness my sides literally ached. This spurred a bedlam of Jessica related comments throughout the evening, all tied neatly in to the on stage improvisation. Shame!

Regardless, nothing can take away the degree to which I looooooooooooove Jessica and her most unfortunate bought of luck. SOMEONE DIES NO MATTER WHERE SHE GOES. Can you imagine??!

"Jessica Fletcher will be reading a sample from her book this evening at the library"
"Oh, uhhhhh.... I'm gonna be in L.A.... I can't be there I.... will be not where.... she.... is...."

Yes, I have always thought that being Jessica's friend, associate, or local to her intended destination was just asking for trouble.

It's not unlike Diagnosis Murder, (the MAN's Murder She Wrote--if gender definition applies to such thing-- there's more running and a higher frequency of gun holding.) If you are one of Mark Sloane's old friends, you are, to not put too fine a point on it, fucked. If you get admitted to Community General, you are probably going to be murdered or, (much worse) made the protagonist in some crass comedy subplot.

And don't get me started on Quincy. Just don't...

That's it.
Anecdote over.
Roll credits with frozen laughing face of Angela Lansbury.


  1. Such behaviour! I'm not sure I should condone. Hang on, yes I should. Whole heartedly. Bloody hilarious that's what it is! Thank you for this, you made me laugh out loud over my cornflakes.

  2. Al...oh my you are a very funny girl! As soon as I read "But today...here is what came out..." I absolutely could not stop laughing. The kind of laughing accompanied with that 'big sneeze' like "Bayhaaa!"
    You do know what I mean here don't you?
    The kind where if you had a mouth full of water, it would have sprayed all over the room.
    Having seen the Prologue I can imagine how far you went with that!

  3. Please have mercy on your poor colleagues.

  4. Al I love you! Murder she Wrote is awesome!

  5. I'm almost inclined to think you watch as much TV as I do, but that can't be right.

  6. You do make me smile dearest. xxx

  7. You are GENIUS, you just don't show your hand too often!

  8. I'm crying right now, tears of joy. I too Love miss J.B. Fletcher and you make me laugh

  9. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!xxxxx

  10. BRILLIANT!!!!! I still laugh remembering it now!!!

  11. FlagganazzarJanuary 31, 2009

    Oh. My. GOD!! Funny. So...



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