Domestic Happenings: Episode 6, Damian Explains Why It's Funny...

D does this thing that I have to share with you. It is so dear. It is so deliciously endearing and simultaneously insanity inducing. No, it has nothing to do with socks on the floor or vacuuming left undone; and to be fair to this poor boy whom I am about to publicly eviscerate he is a very good roommate indeed.

No. D possesses a sense of humour one could only ever describe as DEAR. Comic timing? You betcha. Quality of material? ...Not so much...

So what is this THING you ask? Well. My favourite thing D does in the whole of the world is the following:

1. He will tell you a joke that is not even REMOTELY funny, in fact it is probably pretty stupid.

2. He will do a little FACE that says "I AM DONE WITH THE JOKE AND YOU MAY NOW SHOWER ME WITH LAUGHTER"

3. He will repeat the face.

4. His face will fall slightly because you did not laugh at the joke.

5. He will collect himself slightly and prepare to be VERY PATIENT with you.

and, wait, here is the very best part of it all...

6. HE WILL, with FULL SINCERITY, SLOWLY EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY THE JOKE WAS FUNNY, AND INSINUATE THAT YOU SIMPLY MIS-HEARD TO MIS-UNDERSTOOD THE JOKE WHICH IS THE ONLY REASON ON EARTH WHY YOU WOULD NOT HAVE LAUGHED.

7. His face will fall even further when you explain that you both heard and understood said "joke" perfectly well, and simply did not find it funny.

The process goes something like this; this is a dramatization based on actual events:

[D & A pass a poster for Matthew Bourne's Dorian Gray]

D: He's a REAL DARK fellow...
A: Who?
D: Dorian GRAY...[Wink-wink proud of myself face #1]
A: huh. [Unamused face.]
D: Dorian GRAAAAAAAAAY [Extra emphasis Face #2]
A: Yes.... I...
D: Um... Al? [Disappointed face #3]
A: Yes?
D: [Collects himself] You see, Dorian Gray is the main character's NAME in the piece, and the word GRAY is not ONLY his last name but also like the COLOUR gray, which is DARK... so you see... that is why it is funny... it is a play on words... sort of thing...
A: Yes. I understood. I just... I'm so sorry... I didn't think it was that funny....
D: [Fallen face #4]

The End.