31 October, 2007

Domestic Happenings, Episode 1: Scene From City Life

Scene 1:

A: morning...
D: w38*^%9uh#$&*^klj!)#*(df&$#^%&*!@n...

Scene 2: 

(At rise: D thoughtfully, and with intensity, searches the internet...)

A: Hello... (A looks on with an expectant smile and figety demeanor. Pause.)
D: ...Hello.

(A makes a few feeble attempts to garner praise and attention. 'Why must the internet be so INTERESTING?!' she thinks. More is required... how will she scheme...? 'Ah...' she thinks, 'the attention DANCE!' Slowly, and with a certain joi de vivre, she begins...[INSERT ATTENTION DANCE HERE]...)

D: uh... huh. Um... do you want some attention...?
A: (breathless, attention dance ceases)  Um... well... yes please.
D: Pfft... (head collapses in simultaneous frustration and delight)

Scene 3:

A: Do you think I deserve a bath?
D: I will not answer in words, but in actions. 

(Bath run, with candles... yum.)

Scene 4:

(At rise: D & A approach the pizza shop 'Pizza, on Demand!'...)

D/A: We DEMAND PIZZA! (both struggle to smother fits of laughter...)

(The Pizza Man is deadpan. He either speaks little English, or is utterly unamused. If The Pizza Man does speak English, he is thinking two things at this outrageous display: 1. 'These two people are making fun of the name of my store.' 2. 'This is simply not funny.' If he does not speak English, he is probably thinking something along the lines of 'What?!')

Pizza Man: Yeah. So... what kind of pizza...? 

Scene 5:

D: (shoving several Caramel Hobb Nobbs in his mouth...) These cookies are terrible...
A: Really?
D: (mouth full) ... uh... yeth...


  1. this is quite possibly the most delightful thing i have read in a long time.


  2. ditto to that ^

    and i happen to like caramel hobb nobbs!

    $7 a pack in meijer!

  3. I don't know what caramel hobb nobbs are, but it sounds like I'm going to have to try them.

    I bet your attention dance was just adorable.

  4. Caramel Hobb Nobbs. Hmmm how to explain? The British "BISCUIT" is a very peculiar thing, and unlike anything in North America, but the closest thing is a Graham Cracker (GC is bricky and dry, a biscuit is thicker and "creamier"...sort of...).


    Graham Cracker +
    Layer of Carmel +
    Layer of Chocolate
    = YUM.

  5. as I said, you can buy them in the world food section of meijer!

    I don't know if meijer is a michigan thing or a whole north america thing....I'm clueless!



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