19 September, 2006

Letter to Kit


Apologies for 10 days to reply.

I went up north to the woods to see Interlochen, see D & R, reflect on the passing time, teach the "kids," (a phrase I am not entirely used to...) I didn't know what to say. I decided to do it in two parts. One, to make a list of things I have learned over the "years," Two, to answer their questions.

A sampling:

Things I've learned:

1. Wearing panty hose with a dress may feel a little, well, bulky but honestly it is pretty slutty not to and we all know that is how you get yeast infections...

2. Life isn't fair. You are entitled to nothing. The sooner you get over that, the better.

3. Never wear shoes wear the toe points up at the end, unless you are auditioning for the role of an elf, and even then use extreme caution.

4. Never sing medleys. Ever.

5. Less really is more. Always.

6. No matter how much you may think you love someone, NEVER EVER merge your money with theirs. If they take out a mysterious life insurance policy on you, you are not being "paranoid" if you are concerned for your life.

7. I don't believe in luck. Not really. Doors open all the time, but if you haven't worked your entire life getting ready to storm through them when they open themselves for you, then forget it.

8. If you are beige, don't wear beige.

Then I answered their questions.
The questions were laborious and I will not print them, but the answers were:
1. Los Angeles, California, 1983
2. Yes
3. Abolutely not.
4. Ben and Jerry's half baked
5. The northern line, people who are rude to children and the elderly, people who are rude in general, people who say foyER, people who don't understand the very obvious boundaries of personal space, arrogant cyclists who can't decide whether they wish to be motorists or pedestrians, and don't even get me STARTED on the London Aquarium.
6. Weather and making salads
7. I'm fine, thank you.
7a. No.
8. Frankly, I don't think that is any of your business young man.
9. Sixteen
10. Someone once asked me what the capital of South America was. And I had this "music teacher" (note the quotation marks please) at RSAMD, who tried to convince me Rodgers and Hammerstein wrote West Side Story. Not only that, but that it was in fact their greatest work. But I have said some real stupid zingers in my life too. Take my uncool story about working with John Cusack. [insert story here]

What can i say?

Pffffft... [Gallic shrug] ]Your emails are great. Have no clue when I shall return. I'm hiding in Michigan. Don't tell anyone. Dark days. I suppose I will have to return to do that show I am working on. Well, we'll see.

How is life on the other side of the drink?

-- A x

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