Writing Tips, Part 1: YOU and Your Writing

Dear Writer,

You. Yes, you. The one with notebooks full of snippets, bits n' bobs of nice words, characters, plot lines rolling about in your skull. 

 

Okay, listen. I don’t have some magical MFA or a sexy oak desk overlooking the ocean where I write the Great American Novel in linen pants while sipping something with a twist of whatever. I wrote my first real thing in dressing rooms across the earth, between scenes, and then back at home hunched over a laptop with two-day-old pizza on my shirt and a vague sense that maybe I had something to say, if only I could stop binge-watching crimes shows long enough to say it. 

 

So, you’re standing at the edge of the writing world — heart full, hands unsure. You’ve got the spark. Maybe even a brilliant idea or a dozen, and perhaps even a quiet ache at the pit of your gut because you know there’s something in you waiting to be written— but you’re not quite sure how to begin.

I remember that feeling. It’s not hesitation; it’s frozen passion. And it means you care deeply— which is already a good sign that you very well might write something worth reading. 

If you're reading this because you think you might want to write but also you're overwhelmed, terrified, deeply lazy, or just don't know where to stick the first sentence — congratulations! You are already one of us! Let me throw some tips at you like a big sister who’s been through it, swears a lot, and wants you to win even though she can’t find her bra. What follows is not a list of tips. Just tips! Heaven preserve us from any more RULES. Just some tidbits I wish someone had whispered in my ear when I was where you are now (and even some tips very generous people literally did.) 

 

Think of these as a series of invitations: to risk, to observe, to refine, to endure. Writing is less like architecture than it is like gardening: full of dirt, revision, quiet growth, and the occasional, inexplicable blossom.

 

*

 

1. Write for Yourself
You are your first reader. Always. If you're not excited, curious, or emotionally invested in what you're writing, it’s unlikely anyone else will be. Someone will always criticize your work (or, ya know, a lot of other things like your face or your character or the way you compost or whatever because the internet can be a cesspool). So! Please yourself.

If you’re trying to write the next Pulitzer-winning novel because you think that’s what Smart People™ do, please stop. Write the thing that makes you laugh, cry, cringe, or text your best friend at 2 a.m. That weird little idea you think is too personal or too embarrassing? That’s the one. You are your first and only guaranteed reader, so make it weird, make it yours. Forget market trends and imagined critics! Forget that grouchy English teacher who told you you’d never amount to anything!

 

The number of times I followed a rabbit hole of curiosity and ended up with a new draft. 

The number of ideas that started from simple questions, that became research trips to literal Siberia. 

A pandemic poetry class + a love of Greek mythology = the birth of a major manuscript. 

Get curious. Geek out and get to work.
Write the book you’d stay up all night reading. 

That’s where your truest voice will emerge from, find its strength and very likely show you things you never even knew to be possible within you.

 

Highly recommended. Get it HERE

2. Start Ugly. Start Scared. Just Start.
Look. Your first draft is supposed to be trash. That’s like... the LAW. If your first draft looks like it was written by a raccoon with a caffeine addiction, congrats, you’re doing it right. Get it out. Don’t light a candle or wait for inspiration or buy another fancy notebook. Barf out the words. Pretty comes later.

 

Perfection is a myth that will keep you stuck.  
Remember: Perfectionism has nothing to do with excellence, high standards, or healthy achievement or growth. Perfectionism is a deeply-rooted defensive mechanism rooted in fear and fueled by shame.
 

Dr. Brene Brown has researched perfectionism extensively and has stated: 

“Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of blame, judgement, and shame.”

 

All perfectionism does is keep you stuck. It also makes you miserable and often, quite insufferably judgmental of others which gets you uninvited to parties.

All to say: write your sh*tty, imperfect thing.
Don’t wait until you’re “ready” or until everything is perfectly mapped out. Don’t wait for a good hair day or for inspiration to strike. Don’t wait for anything. Perfection never arrives. Conditions will never will be ideal. 

Sh*tty First Drafts are allowed to be wild, rough, incoherent, even embarrassing. They’re meant to be. That’s why they’re not called Genius First Drafts. I know someone that brilliantly calls them “Fertilizer Ideas.” I love this! Because sure fertilizer stinks, but it makes things grow! 

 

Think of first attempts as sketches, not sculptures. Think of them as the first horrendous stumble-through of the play you’re rehearsing (you know the one where someone broke a toe, props went missing, we accidentally skipped 34 pages. A disaster. But a start!) The first draft is allowed to be chaotic, overwritten, full of clichés or clunky metaphors. It’s supposed to be. Your only job at that stage is to get the words out of your head and onto the page. The CRAFT comes later — in the revision.

 

3. Create a Routine That Respects Your Energy
You don’t have to write at 5 AM  like some bootstrappy productivity robot. You don’t need to write every day, and you don’t need to lie to yourself about “finding the time.” You don't need to write by candlelight. Or in a leather-bound journal with a quill. What matters is that you show up consistently in a way that supports your life — not disrupts it. 

Are you sharpest at night? Carve out 30 minutes after dinner. Care-taking? Steal 15 minutes during breaks, meal, naptime. Make actual time — even if it’s ten minutes in your car outside Target — and do what you can. Nobody’s giving out gold stars for suffering.

 

Your writing rhythm should support your life, not fight it. Find what works for you and truly honor the ritual the way you would meet any other part of your needs, your wellbeing.

 

4. Gracefully Accept Rejection


Rejection sucks and you will absolutely take it personally. Then you’ll eat a cookie, watch four hours of Love Is Blind, and live. That “no” doesn’t mean you’re garbage— it just means that particular person wasn’t into it. Maybe they have bad taste. Keep going. Be petty and persistent.

 

When you start offering your work, expect rejection. Rejection is not a verdict on your worth — it’s a rite of passage. Every author you admire has been rejected (often many times over). It stings, yes. But it also toughens you, teaches you resilience, and sometimes, if you’re open to it, gives you clues on how to grow. Don't let a "no" from someone else become a "no" from you.

Rejection is a human experience that can be very stressful and unpleasant. That is why many people do anything they can to avoid it.  But just like many stressful and unpleasant things, the more you accept the sensations, allow the feelings of discomfort to move through you like a wave that WILL break and ebb should you allow it to follow nature’s course, bearing it becomes much more, well, bearable!
We feel stressed when we assume an outside circumstance is beyond our ability to cope. Unpredictability, uncontrollability, overwhelm, self-worth being challenged. Give yourself the gift of these experiences. They breed true maturity.
So.
Be business-like about submitting your work.
Keep track of who you've sent out pieces to and file feedback, especially positive comments.
When a story or poem is rejected, just send it to the next person on your list; keep going until no options remain.
After you've finished a piece, start something new. Put the old one aside for now.
Remember that plenty of novelists have two or three unpublished manuscripts under the bed.


 


5. Don't Give Up

You will doubt yourself. 

You will wonder if it’s worth it. 

You will be tempted to quit — maybe more than once.
Don’t. Keep going. 

Take breaks, revise your goals, let the draft sit if needed — but don’t let self-doubt have the last word. The world needs your stories. More importantly, you need your stories.
Don't give up because you're not some jerk’s definition of “successful.” Just keep creating. Unapologetically and with all your heart. 

 

There will be days when you want to quit and take up knitting or go fully off-grid. That’s normal. But if writing is your thing— even if it’s just kind of your thing— you owe it to yourself to keep going. Take naps. Cry. Write again. You’re allowed to take breaks, but you don’t get to ghost yourself.

Also? You never know what will happen later in life or even after you are dead. A historian in times to come may discover your diary and recognize its unique insight into twenty-first-century life. A poem you wrote many years ago may suddenly appeal to someone and be published or get chosen in a competition. A novel that was rejected 30 times might get dusted down and see the light of day many, many years after you first wrote it.

Plenty of good novels don't get published and lots of indifferent ones do. Despite what the world wants us to believe, life is not a meritocracy, and it certainly isn't fair. 

Don't get mad about it. I mean, or do. Punch a pillow or two. Eat your feelings. But then move on.

Keep going, live in hope and be open to whatever happens— and more crucially, whatever could happen that you might not even have the capacity to conceive of yet. 


 

6. You are a Writer Because You Write
Not because you’re published. Not because someone approves. Not because you have an agent or book deal. Not because your sentences are flawless.
You are a writer because you sit down, listen to your thoughts, and try to shape them into something meaningful. Or, in a more Eastern approach to creation: you trust that your work is out there, existing, and your job is to take away everything that is NOT the art. Remove the marble that David is trapped within.
That is the work. That is the art.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to begin — but if it helps, let this be it.
Start where you are. Use the voice you have. Write the thing that won’t leave you alone.
I’m cheering you on, always.
 

Five Women at an Airport: The Full Film

It's here.  "Five Women at an Airport" is complete and ready for your viewing (in 4K!)

 I wrote about this incredible piece, project and experience last July, but here is a snippet of what I said:

"This piece. 

This experience. 

This team. 

These WOMEN. 



I will never know what I did to deserve this perfect alchemy of passion, commitment, humor, depth and talent— but we got it all and then some, all in 20 days that felt like 20 years. 

What we achieved artistically, emotionally, and all ahead of schedule (?!) was a miracle. 

[...]

I’ll never fully have the language to express what this 3 weeks— my first ever as a professional director of anything, let alone a movie musical—meant to me. [Lyricist and book-writer David Goldsmith] saw something in me I didn't even dare to see in myself.  It also came with the unparalleled trust of its genius creators John, and Wendy— who created a work of such indescribable truth and beauty; a work about real, mature, fully-embodied, nuanced women speaking to one another like real human beings. These are roles women can savor, relish and feast upon for eons to come. 



 

 

I’ll say until my breath runs out: in show business it is not the work you make, where you make it or the tens of dollars we are sometimes paid for the privilege. It is, above all, about who we share it all with. 
"

 

 

 So enjoy, dear friends. 

 

Click the link above, start watching below, or simply go to YouTube and type in “Five Women At An Airport.” 



Watch our film-capture. For free. 

 

Enjoy the breathtaking — truth-soaked, hilarious, skillful, heartbreaking, vocally astonishing and absolutely stunning — performances of Cailen Fu, Katy Geraghty, Bryonha Marie, Kate Rockwell and Elena Shaddow

 

The endlessly inventive, soaring, magical, moving musical theatre score of John Kavanaugh  the wit, wisdom and powerful insights of the book and lyrics by David Goldmsith and the co-bookwriter and conceptual matriarch, Wendy Perelman. 

 

Watch. 

Enjoy. 

See what's possible with like $300, and bags of delusional hope. 

 

Hit like. 

Hit share. 

Comment. 

Talk about it. 

Sing all the songs. 

Make it part of the conversation. 

 

The community. 

Our community. 



 

Let’s change how things are done. 

Let’s fix what’s broken. 

Books by-the-month: February

Ah, February. The month of winter’s last gasp, of small joys, and, yes, of love—whether it’s the romantic, the familial, or the self-love that comes from curling up with a good book. 

 

To help you make the most of these cozy, cold evenings, here are five books that should take you on unforgettable journeys. From classic tales of unrequited love to dazzling modern narratives, these picks will keep your heart warm as the chill lingers outside.

---

February Theme: Valentine's Day (obvs)

1. Fingersmith by Sarah Waters

Love can blossom where you least expect it. At least that seems to be the case in Sarah Waters’s twist-and-turn Victorian masterpiece, Fingersmith.

 

The novel tells the story of Sue Trinder, an orphan, abandoned as an infant in the care of Mrs. Sucksby, a conniving and resourceful ‘baby farmer,' whose bread and butter comes from raising children to become petty thieves—fingersmiths—in London' notorious East End. 

 

Sue’s world changes forever when 'Gentleman,' a sophisticated con-man arrives with a tantalizing proposition. He offers her the chance to take part in a clever ploy to steal the inheritance of Maud Lilly, an isolated and vulnerable heiress, by posing as her maid and encouraging her to marry Gentleman.

 

But nothing is quite how it seems. Sue and Maud soon kindle an unlikely friendship that becomes a passionate love affair. Waters is peerless in how she crafts exhilarating and unforgettable journeys through the Victorian underworld, filled with villains, deception, debauchery and, ultimately, love.

 

 

 

2. The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro
 

Not all love stories have happy endings. Some, in fact, barely even have beginnings, such as in Kazuo Ishiguro’s novel The Remains of the Day. 

There is something about February’s subtle melancholy that makes The Remains of the Day a perfect fit. Ishiguro’s subtle, almost painful prose will transport you deep into the life of Stevens, an English butler. Stevens has devoted his entire existence to service, and the story follows him as he reflects on the misguided loyalty of his past and attempts to reconnect with Ms Kenton, the housekeeper who worked alongside him— the woman he desperately loved, but for whom he never dared crossed a professional line. 

 

While Stevens hopes for a resolution at their reunion, Ms Kenton alludes to what might have been but concludes ‘there’s no turning back the clock now. One can’t be forever dwelling on what might have been’. 

 

As Stevens reflects on his past in a long, meandering road trip across the English countryside, the narrative reveals the complexities of duty, missed opportunities, and suppressed emotions. Ishiguro’s prose is— like Stevens’ emotions— buried deep beneath the surface, ready to surface in poignant moments that will linger long after you’ve turned the final page.

And so one of literature’s most heartbreaking love stories ends with a devastating whimper.

 

February Theme: Black History Month (because here at London Still, Al is still celebrating diversity because I am not threatened by thoughts, histories and ideas that might de-center my own lived experience or, Gd forbid, possibly make me the slightest bit uncomfortable...rant over. For now.)

 

2. "Beloved" by Toni Morrison
 

February is the perfect month to dive into Toni Morrison’s Beloved, a novel whose beauty lies in its raw, unapologetic exploration of the dark, terrible legacy of the enslaved people of the United States. Set in post-Civil War Ohio, Beloved follows Sethe, an escaped enslaved woman who is haunted by the ghost of her dead daughter.
 
Morrison’s writing is both lyrical and haunting—each sentence is a carefully wrought piece of art. The narrative swings between hauntingly beautiful prose and brutal truths, making for a reading experience that is as exhausting as it is revelatory. This is a book that demands your full attention, and rewards you with layers of meaning in return. If you haven’t read Beloved yet, February is the month to do it.
 

 

February Theme:  Lunar New Year (and yes, I know that sometimes Lunar New Year is in January.) 

Lunar New Year is a time for reflection, celebration, and renewal (and DUMPLINGS) making it an ideal occasion to explore books with Asian characters or themes. For me personally, being married to a Chinese-American makes me plump for Chinese-forward picks, but the Asian literary canon is infinite in its richness and rewards–it would be impossible to choose. 

However, choose I must, and below are two exceptional reads that offer profound insight into Chinese culture, history, and the human experience and each offer a rich and varied portrait of life, love, and the pursuit of meaning. They also happen to be stalwarts of world literature.

 

4. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan

 
Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club is a masterful exploration of the generational divides between Chinese-American mothers and their daughters. Told through the interconnected stories of eight women, the novel spans decades, alternating between the perspectives of the mothers, who arrived in America as immigrants, and their daughters, who grapple with the weight of their cultural heritage. 

 

Tan’s writing is deeply empathetic, her prose rich with the nuances of family dynamics, identity, and the immigrant experience. Each chapter captures the delicate interplay of hope, sacrifice, and love, weaving an intricate tapestry of Chinese-American life that’s as heartwarming as it is heartbreaking. 

 

The Joy Luck Club is an enduring work that beautifully portrays the complexities of the immigrant experience and the delicate ties that bind generations together.
 


5. The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane by Lisa See

 
Lisa See’s The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane is an exquisite exploration of family, tradition, and identity, set in the lush, remote mountains of China. The novel follows Li-yan, a young girl from an ethnic minority group in the far southwest of China, whose life is deeply shaped by the ancient traditions surrounding tea cultivation. As Li-yan grows up, her life is marked by love, loss, and the complex relationship between personal ambition and cultural heritage. 

 

See’s writing is lyrical and immersive, drawing on the beauty of the Chinese landscape while delving into the complex social structures that define Li-yan’s world. The novel is also a poignant exploration of motherhood, with themes of separation and reconciliation as Li-yan’s path crosses with that of her daughter, whom she must give up. 

 

The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane is a heart-wrenching and thought-provoking read that will transport you to a world that is both timeless and strikingly contemporary.

February’s slow, still air offers the perfect backdrop for diving into these books, each of which brings something unique. Curl up in a corner, drink your hot cocoa, and lose yourself in these extraordinary tales. You’ll emerge from the month not just with the memory of a good book, but with a deeper understanding of the human heart—both its beauty and its flaws.