I've Been: Summer 2016

Ahhh The Hamptons...

- Performing on the Tony Awards. Dreams comes true.

- Indulging in adult learning thanks to The Great Courses on Audible.com

- Exploring NYC

- Weekending in The Hamptons. Casual. 

- Visiting with beloved old friends

- Reveling in the magic of my new (and scarcely plausible) two-book-deal from Pegasus Books.

- Dreaming of a possible life in the country...

- Meeeeelting in the NYC summer heat

- Turning 33


- Eating more watermelon than should be legal 

- Sharing and collaborating in art with people that matter to me

- Celebrating the courage and genius of my new but soulmate-of-a-friend friend Megan Kane...

- Switching from iced coffee to iced green tea. Yum!

At Google with Melanie Moore

- Standing on top of New York City at the Google building with baby sister Melanie Moore...

- Singing

-  Walking walking walking
 
- Reading more than ever (It’s only July and this year I’ve already read about 140 books—Lordy loo, and thank you Audible!) Some faves:

• Mastery by Robert Greene
• Salmon Fishing in the Yemen by Paul Torday
• Contagious by Jonah Berger
• Grit by Angela Duckworth
• A Little History of Philosophy by Nigel Warburton
• The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (finally! I'd never read it!)
• Hope: A Tragedy by Shalom Auslander
• The Story of Human Language by Prof. John McWhorter (from The Great Courses)
• Loving What Is by Byron Katie

 - Having dinner between our Broadway shows with two of my childhood acting idols Peter Scolari and Judy Kaye. (If you had told my 16-year-old self that one day they would be beloved friends and colleagues, I never would have believed you...) 

- Giving authentic interviews that with incredible journalists. Interviews can often be a little silly, often very fun, but these have actually reflected who I am inside, and it means the world to me:

• AOLBuild Series with Laura Heyward
• Broadway Radio (probably the most in-depth and heartfelt interview of my career)



our "Sister-versary!"

• Show People for Broadway.com

- Mentoring

- Rumbling with my health. (Really rumbling.)

- Celebrating one year of being "Tevye's Daughters!"

- Treating the "difficult" people in my life as teachers

- Loving Tatiana more every day

- Re-evaluating ev-er-y-thing...

- Basking in the glory of S U M M E R ...

Summer. Word.

The Passage of Time

Time, it seems, has a funny way of imprinting itself on your memories. The grey land of Nerchinsk, with its worn roads, its forests, fences, and horizons laced with countless metallurgical operations—all of it had altered.

Or perhaps it hadn’t.
 Perhaps it was merely their perception, altered.

The sky, once leaden was now a luminescent blue—heavy as eyelids fighting sleep. Clouds of smoke came belching up from little chimneys in great billows, where once there had been only threads, fading into night. The already stark landscape of the taiga with its muddy hills and lonely trees, obliterated into swamp and shrub and an undergrowth of rubble. The barrack sheds and village shacks once only smudges of blackened wood, now betrayed faded shocks of color—window shutters, painted doors and makeshift murals. Silence had been pumiced by sounds of picks and carts and heavy hammers, creaking gates, cows and chickens, silverware and screeches. Above all, the wailing whistle as the train approached from the parallel tracks of the ever-growing Great Railway.

Eastern winds that once wafted smells from deepest Asia, now blew only minerals from the ever-expanding mines: the sour sickness of sulfur, the sharpness of silver, and the harshly cleansing scorch of salt that burned the nostrils as you searched to define it further.

Not to be forgotten, was all of them—memories, shadows and friends alike. They had been rubbed down, they lay worn and raw like scraps of glass washed up upon the shores by the frigid waters of the Nercha. One could see what could never have been seen before: that Nerchinsk indeed held good men, and dark ones, and those so torn apart by madness they scarcely knew themselves. Time leached all that was impure from the companions until all that remained was the world-weariness, the churlish tempers, and the intricate psychological scaffoldings, which could not be kept up or down under the pummeling of Siberian days.

It was these little things.
Nothing can compare to the first moments one realizes that time has more than simply “passed,”
     but indeed, that things are older.
And they were.
Older.
Days passed and grew to weeks, weeks grew to months, which succeeded each other one after the other, and swiftly grew to years.

They were nearer to ash, to dust, to eternity, than they have ever been before.

AlSilbs: A Still Life

TONIGHT:

Interview for AOL Build Series

A wonderful afternoon at the AOL Building with @BroadwayGirlNYC, Laura Heywood. 

 "Grammy Award® nominee Alexandra Silber (currently starring as Tzeitel in "Fiddler on the Roof" on Broadway) stars in this intimate musical, "Arlington," which focuses on a young Army wife trying to keep herself from a nervous breakdown as her husband fights overseas.

For full schedule and more videos go to http://aol.com/build"

A Trip to Ellis Island

An incredible journey. My fellow cast members Michael Bernardi, George Psomas and I ventured out to Ellis Island​ first thing in the morning to explore our personal and character’s family history at the world's foremost symbol of Welcome. Here's to the Land of the Free. 

May we remain a country of Welcome. 

33

33 is:

• A normal human spine has 33 vertebrae when the bones that form the coccyx are counted individual
• The atomic number of arsenic
• In reference to gramophone records, 33 refers to a type of record by its revolution speed of 33⅓ revolutions per minute. 33s are also known as long playing records, or LPs.
• The divine name Elohim appears 33 times in the story of creation in the opening chapters of Genesis.
• The French telephone numbering plan used for France. 
• The number 33 was discovered to lead to the essential meaning of life (the Bible) in Dan Brown's 2009 novel The Lost Symbol. 
• A significant number in modern numerology, one of the Master Numbers along with 11 and 22.
• A song by The Smashing Pumpkins on their album, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.   

• 33 is, according to the Newton scale, the temperature at which water boils. The 33 Strategies of War is a book by Robert Greene
• The number of deities in the Vedic Religion is 33.

• The title of the first episode of the 2004 Battlestar Galactica television series in which the Cylons came every 33 minutes
• In motorsport, 33 is, on most occasions, the traditional number of racers in the Indianapolis 500.
• The number printed on all Rolling Rock beer labels!
  
• The 33 is a 2015 English-language Chilean biographical disaster-survival drama film based on the real events of the 2010 mining disaster, in which a group of thirty-three miners were trapped inside the San José Mine in Chile for more than two months. 
  The highest degree in the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry.
• According to Al-Ghazali the dwellers of Heaven will exist eternally in a state of being age 33. (Whoa.)
• In French, Italian, Romanian, Spanish and Portuguese, the word which a patient is usually asked to say when a doctor is listening to his or her lungs with a stethoscope (Trente-Trois, Trentatré, Treizeci și trei, Treinta y Tres and Trinta e Três)!
•  33 is not only a numerical representation of “the Star of David,” but also the numerical equivalent of AMEN: 1+13+5+14=33.
• And last but not least, Jesus's age when he was crucified. 

*

It has been a journey, readers, and I have reached the place longed for when I began (though, who could have dreamed it to resemble anything like this?) 

I have come to edge of all that I know and all I believe and all I could endure and all I could wonder about, and I have-- again and again-- found new firmament beneath my feet so that I could take one more step. 

Have you been there too? 

This is how I believe we all continue: stepping into the unknown and untested, stepping off the cliff to find there IS something there. That the ground will materialize under our feet as soon as we are ready to step on it--and not one moment before. If this is not the usual way to walk around the block, by now I ought to have become accustomed to it: to have faith in the PROCESS.

- I started off 32 learning I would be returning to Broadway as Tzeitel; began rehearsals for, opened and recorded, my beloved Fiddler on the Roof:

- Did a solo show in London and got to celebrate, bury some hatchets, and truly visit with countless lifelong friends. 

- Returned to San Francisco Symphony to sing in their opening gala, and really conquered some of my huge singing myths. 

- Was diagnosed with a life-changing chronic illness, and truly faced being...um, not-alive at 32, not once but twice. (I will reflect more upon, and share those thoughts, when I am ready to...) Fear not: I am finally, in every sense, well. 

- Became a "Paleo" eater (and have never looked back!)

- I cut off ALL. MY. HAIR.

@theemmaexperience

-  Made some very important new adult friends and business relationships. 

The "Pineapples"

- I MET MY ONLY IDOL ANGELA LANSBURY...

   

 

- Did a solo show at Birdland
 
- Finally recorded Arlington for Broadway Records

- Cleared out the 'clutter," and replaced that clutter with better, more appropriate things (from people, business partnerships, and ideas, to actual physical stuff)

- Had the most wonderful year yet at Pace with my beloved babies.

- Got an actual factual ...two-book deal... and will be able to have the ultimate privilege of sharing my life and work with the world, and have a personal dream come true.


In short, significant highs, and some of the most harrowing lows of my life thus far.

*

We can underline, circle, thought-map, highlight and do ritualistic chanting circles 'til our voices are hoarse about our hopes, dreams and expectations; but I have learned (at least thus far) that the actual form and function of our lives will always be different than our initial imaginings. Life will come barreling toward us with its own very personal demands for what we need to do and above all, learn. 

My lessons this year have been about fortitude: 

When things happen that look disastrous, empowerment allows us to see them as a stage of life that's over, and to look for the next challenge that will advance us toward a dream. Fighting against What Is in a fruitless exercise that drains us. The moment we accept what is, we are empowered to find a way to move forward—like stepping into the unknown, the firmament we need always seems to appear the second we take that faithful step.  You take the leap, and almost as a kind of spiritual reward, the net appears. It appears despite having all the proof. 

The journey to peace/contentment/greatness is arduous, and the tangible and intangible costs we may have to pay are high. Remember that nothing of real value was ever achieved without costs. We must have a strong heart, an open mind, and we must move with tenacity and act without retreating. After all, Vision shall always only be a vision until we take that step of fortitude to make it a reality.

Every time I go through this process I feel vulnerable, and what I assume to be my weaknesses, turn out to be my strengths. Although I continue to learn this lesson over and over again (who doesn't have that experience?), I realized anew that no pain that we suffer, no trial or test that we experience should ever be wasted. Adversity paves the way for our Education— to the expansion of such vital human qualities as patience, faith, humility, and the capacity to endure.

The trick is to endure it patiently. 
          . . . Easier said than done. 

It is still possible (and allowed) to dream with a broken body and a broken heart.  
It is possible for those dreams to manifest into greatest reality. 
One must simply, keep going.
 
Life is a great unending opportunity to keep re-framing disaster and discouragement into faith. 
There is pain 
     but there is also, always, joy.