Ask Al: Stay on Your Own 'Mat'

Dear Al, 

I am an acting student at a prominent American conservatory, and one of the things I find so difficult and frustrating is avoiding comparing myself to my peers! For example, I happen to be a little bit more well-read than my classmates, but have two left feet and no singing voice. I get so jealous of their skills, and so down on myself for being “behind!” It often makes me hopeless! Any guidance? I feel like my mind if so full of comparison, I’m losing track of my own journey. 

Thank you! 

 Ilana. 

*

Dear Ilana,

I will open with one of my favorite quotes of all time, from our brilliant 26th President Theodore Roosevelt:

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” 

[*Mic drop*]

Okay so hold on: what does this mean exactly?

We are creatures of competition—that’s natural— everyone from Darwin to The Amazing Race has displayed countless times that human beings are just fighting to survive and we want to be The Best whether not being eaten by a bear or $250,000 are on the line.

Thing is, MOST of the time we are NOT being eaten by bears or running to the top of an Incan temple for prize money. We are just living our lives and trying to grow. Yet, we cannot help glancing across the lawn at the dude with the fancier car, or sitting beside the couple at a dinner party with the “better marriage,” and the lady at Starbucks with perfect hair. Or perhaps the mom with the better behaved children, the girl in class who can belt a Z without warming up, or the bastard people who stole your career.
You get it.

 Now this is where we get into analogy territory (which I like to call, that’s right, an AL-nalogy…) If you have ever taken a yoga class, you know that it is easy to get caught up in what other people are doing on THEIR mats. As one allows their eyes to stray, you get an upside-down glimpse at that bastard-woman next to you who is doing a perfect triangle pose and you behold your own crappy inabilities and feel a deep twinge of envy and hatred of Perfect-Triangle-Pose-Lady who, now that you look even more obsessively, is also wearing cuter yoga clothes, dammit.

On the flip side, you might see someone struggling with a pose that comes easily and naturally to you, and feel a sense of self-righteous atta-girl pride. Both of these things are completely:

     1. Normal
     2. Unhelpful. 


Ahhhh...

The beauty of yoga is that it is a space to get away from competition. Yoga recognizes that we all come to our practice (and yes, it is called a "practice" for that is exactly what it is) with different abilities, strengths, and flexibility.

But hold up, wait a minute: why do we have to keep that mentality exclusively for yoga class? Can we not expand ourselves juuuuuuust a touch and take that mindset into the actual freakin' world? Of course we can. We just have to get a grip.

We all compare ourselves to others (yes, even me: who you are asking for advice; and even theatre-famous people, and even really famous people who are Michelle-Obama-famous) Ultimately, the end goal is not to live our lives flawlessly (or to be just like our neighbors), but to listen to our individual bodies, heart and souls, and to find our own pace of growth, learning and expansion. In our careers, as in yoga, there’s a tendency to let our ambition—and our own egos—guide our decisions according to other people’s success.

 If it becomes difficult to stay focused on your own progress and to be present with where you are in your life here are a few things to remember:

1. Don’t Compare 
Did your roommate get a date with the cute guy you like?
Did your boyfriend book the crappy musical you were using to define your entire sense of worth and you did not?
Is your best friend skinnier/more stylish/cuter/better at life than you are?

Don’t panic: you are not a loser, they are on their journey, and you are on yours. It is more than likely that they sometimes look over at you and can’t believe how annoyingly perfect you are at something that you don’t even value because you are too busy being a meany-pants to yourself. Worth, value, marketability, humor, beauty, intelligence, coolness, and pretty much EVERYTHING else are RELATIVE.
In fact, ever heard the phrase “everything’s relative?”
Oh yeah, that would be because it IS.

It’s one thing to look to others for inspiration, but we have to be careful not to measure our entire sense of worth based on others’ accomplishments. In moments like these you must recall (and possibly recite) Teddy Roosevelt’s genius quote like the mantra it clearly is, center yourself and get that grip! If we fill our minds with comparisons we will completely lose out on truly living—the joys of being in the moment, the celebration of our uniqueness, special gifts, and personal callings.


 2. Don’t Judge. 
Listen to me: the more you judge others, the more you fear and feel judgement.
Seriously.
This was a big one for me to come to grips with.
Think about this: what are the insecurities that come your mind right away?
Thunder thighs?
Singing?
Acne?
Thinning hair?
Money woes?
Relationship drama?

Whatever it may be I’d wager that a part of your consciousness goes through life silently (or sometimes not-so-silently) picking apart, envying, and ultimately judging eeeevery skinny bitch in a magazine, every girl in an ill-fitting dress on the subway, assessing every head of hair, picking apart every belted D, everyone else’s relationship, wardrobe, GPA, income, or whatever.

Come on...
... Am I right?

I’ll own that this used to be me. Until one day I had a major epiphany, took stock of my inner dialogue and and had to admit it: I had lost DAYS OF MY LIFE thinking about how other people’s asses look in a pair of jeans [*sad trombone*]. I vowed to snap out of it. 

Now think about the things you are confident about (or, if you are really messed up, the things that are “fine” about yourself so you basically don’t really give them a lot of thought).
Do you have really pretty straight teeth?
Great legs?
Did you win the hair lottery?
Are you talented at stuff?
Are you #blessed with great skin/nails/style AND YOU JUST FORGOT ABOUT THAT?

Here’s the thing: I guarantee you that the things you don’t focus on (like your banging legs you never have to work on) you NEEEEEVER judge about other people. If you have great skin, you often don’t even notice other people’s skin—it is not on your mind, it has no currency for you. Am I right?

Thus, you can assume that most people don’t give a hoot about your jeans size or acne scars or the fact that you don’t have a boyfriend. Most people are too busy obsessing over their own bad hair day.

Now look: some people are judging, just like you were— but screw em. They don’t need to be scolded, they mostly need a hug, and frankly, so do you. Hug that hug and move on.

The lesson: The less you JUDGE, the less you FEEL JUDGED. If you take that ticker tape of judge-y nasty-talk out of your own head, you simply become accustomed to a life in which that kind of internal dialogue is not a part of your existence, and you also come to assume it is not a part of anyone else’s.
That is called inner peace.
It is a crucial component of acceptance.

The challenge: for the next week, try to be aware of every single time you internally judge another person based on your own insecurities. Just take note of how often you do it. The following week, note it, and consciously change the internal dialogue to something neutral or positive.

Keep that practice up and before long, that ticker tape of negativity will be neutralized and TA DAAAA! You’ll have your brain back.


3. Practice a Lil’ Self-Compassion 
On the mat, the body is boss. If our hamstrings are screaming out in pain, we don’t go all “mind over matter” on that sh*t. We listen. We accept our body’s limits. We must show ourselves the utmost compassion when it comes to growth. Yogis accept that the body knows best, and therefore don’t attach to the yearnings of the ego, which can often sound a little something like this:

     “Why the hell did you get into that handstand?… You were thiiiiis close to nailing it!!”

Translated? Don’t worry about:
1. What Perfect McBlondiePants has achieved
2. What you achieved yesterday
3. What you hope to achieve today
4. What any of it mean for your uncertain future

 It is all about what you are capable of right now—accept whatever that is completely.
So, Be kind to yourself.
Release all expectations.
Honor yourself for simply showing up.


4. Focus on YOUR practice/ process, Focus on YOUR mental and physical experience/growth 
Yogis use the sensations of their body to guide their practice. Bringing awareness without judgement to all that we see, feel, smell and hear helps to focus our attention on the mat, back on the Now.  So… when you feel yourself all up in yo’ head – Stop. Look around. Listen to the sounds. BREATHE. Focus on your breath. Take a big whiff of your surroundings. Take stock of what you are feeling, experiencing. Respect and appreciate it all. When you focus on the basics, your psyche gets right back into alignment. The “Crazytown bus” takes a detour back to Sane-ville.
Inhale… exhale…
Ahhhh...
Welcome back to the mat, my friend.
Your mat.
Your life and journey and no one else’s.

'Unending Love' by Rabindranath Tagore

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times…

In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, its age-old pain,
Its ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star piercing the darkness of time:
You become an image of what is remembered forever.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers, shared in the same
Shy sweetness of meeting, the same distressful tears of farewell-
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.

Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you
The love of all man’s days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life.
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours –
And the songs of every poet past and forever.

© Nick Bantock

Self Portrait: 26.Dec.15

That's right. It's the Murder, She Wrote BOARD. GAME.

Fiddler on the Roof Broadway Opening Night

©Bruce Glikas

©Broadway Style Guide

©Broadway Style Guide

©Playbill

Video

Tzeitel's 8 Nights of Hanukkah

Happy Hanukkah readers, from me, Al(exandra) Silber.
I wanted to escort you through the eight days of the Festival of Lights — with a little bit of Broadway razzle dazzle to keep the butts in the seats. So sit back, relax, grab your dreidel, prepare yourself for an onslaught of latkes and songs in Db minor, and get ready to raise a glass and drink L'Chaim to life.

© Joan Marcus

1. LIGHT!
This year, on the evening of December 6 in the secular calendar—Jews the world over will light a single candle in their eight-branched Hanukkah menorah (also called the Hanukkiyah- חנוכיח). The Jewish community commemorates a miracle of the burning oil by lighting candles on the menorah every night for eight nights—one the first night, two the second, three the third, and so on. There is a ninth candle in the middle of the called the shamash, which is the “servant light,” in that it is lit first, then used to light all the other candles.

The appeal of a ‘festival of light’ in the season when the sun makes its briefest appearance is obvious: the kindling of light brightens up not only the night but also our moods, and symbolizes the hope of the sun's return in a few months' time. By the eighth night the spirit of joy and celebration that has been building all week comes to its fullest expression.

But you know what full expression means in the theatre world: it means big feels.
It means a production number about what you really really want at the close of Act 1.
Thing is, in Fiddler on the Roof, the close of Act 1 is a pogrom…Thus! I give you what we at The Broadway Theatre’s have as our own relationships to candles and light.

Macy's Parade Rehearsal

 2. WINTER!
Jews are of course not the only people to celebrate light around the the winter solstice.
Light features prominently in many winter festivals, such as the Hindu festival of Diwali, Kwanzaa, Yalda, and of course, the lighting of Christmas trees.

And what is the best way to celebrate winter in NYC? Why! to cozy up inside a nice warm theatre and take in a Broadway show. And why not make that Broadway show one where everyone is bundled up in the Pale of Settlement in the dead of winter?


3. MUSIC!
After lighting the candles, the whole family says a special prayer and sings traditional Hanukkah songs...(See what I did there…?) TRADITIONal Hanukkah songs like “Dreidel and Dreidel” and…um, well, an encore of “Dreidel Dreidel…”

At least at Fiddler we can sing “Tradition” over and over again, supported by our incredible orchestra lead by shiny genius Musical Director Ted Sperling.

Our Orchestra!

Oh! And what would Hanukkah be without music and dancing? Like this shtetl warm-up to “Moves Like Jagger” before the show with Tzeitel and Hodel:

What UP, internet?

4. HISTORY!
Hanukkah has also been given a historical narrative, for, in contrast to the other major Jewish holidays, Hanukkah is not mentioned in the Hebrew Bible. Rather, its origins are traced back to mid-second century BCE. King Antiochus IV forbade the practice of Jewish laws and customs, and violated their Temple. A small Jewish army led by Judah Maccabee to fight the powerful Greek army and won.

Now that you know Hanukkah’s history, why not indulge in a few historical points from our Fiddler company. Here are some company members in shall we say “vintage” productions of Fiddler:

This isn’t Lori Wilner’s first Fiddler rodeo! She played Golde in both the last Broadway and recent Goodspeed productions:

And who is that? Whyyyyy that would be ME, giving you my 15-year-old Golde:

Michael Bernardi is Fiddler on the Roof royalty— as the son of the late great Hershel Bernardi (one of history’s great Tevye’s), he is (literally) wearing his father’s boots, and carrying on not just a tradition, but a legacy:

And let’s give the Greeks a little shout out with this photo of our resident Greek, George Psomas (who plays Avram the book seller):

George Psomas: GREEK PERSON

5. MIRACLES!
The Temple then had to be re-sanctified to the worship of the God of Israel. According to the Talmud, olive oil was required to keep the menorah ablaze within the Temple. But when the Jews returned to their oil supply, they found that there was only enough oil to burn for a single day. Eight days would be required to prepare a new supply of oil. The light in the temple would be doused long before then.
But a miracle happened…The oil in the temple lasted eight incredible days: exactly the time needed to prepare a fresh supply of oil for the menorah. Thus, Hanukkah, the Festival of Lights, came to be. The miracle is a reminder to all of us about endurance and sustenance against all odds.

And, who better to represent said “miracle” than our own, and MY own Motel Kamzoil, Adam Kantor, who I have the honor of listening to every night as he sings “Miracle of Miracles” to me. This. This is us:

©David Gordon

©Allison Stock

6. FAMILY & ANCESTRY!Hanukkah is also a wonderful time to bring light into the lives of those around us. At Fiddler, we try to celebrate with our nuclear theatre family, which we, naturally, call “The Bursteins.” 

©Bruce Glikas

7. TRADITIOOOOOOONS! TRADITIONS!Traditions are important to all Jews… so important that we open one of the greatest musicals ever written with a song entitled, um, “TRADITION.” So what are the Hanukkah traditions?
We eat a LOT of food. I mean— we always eat a lot of food, but holidays are usually pretty spectacular. On Hanukkah it is customary to eat foods that are cooked in oil, such as doughnuts, called sufganiot, and potato pancakes, called latkes to commemorate the miracle of the oil, as are the oily foods traditionally prepared for the festival.
You hang with your family.
You light the menorah.
You sing songs (like “Dreidel”…on repeat…).
After all, without our traditions our lives would be as shaky and a Fiddler on the Roof.
Right? Of course right!

8. LOVED ONES!
Hanukkah is a special holiday to connect with your loved ones — both blood-related and chosen. It is all about coming together to celebrate, and what better way to celebrate than with those you adore?
The six Fiddler "lovers" call ourselves the “Mishpucha,” which literally translates to “family,” and often means “extended family, and then some.” Well, there couldn’t be a better definition for the way the six of us feel about one another.
We go on triple dates.
And indulge in an on-going text chain.
And laugh and laugh and laugh.
And, as you can see from these diabetes-inducing photographs taken by Playbill at our Press Day, the love is real, and just like Jacques Brel, the love is alive and well and living in Anatevka. 

©Playbill

DON'T TELL PAPA WE'RE IN LOVE.... ©David Gordon

Finally, remember wonderful Playbill readers, the true meaning of Hanukkah:
Beyond all reason or logic, we, too — like the light in the ancient Temple of Jerusalem — are inextinguishable. In the darkest and most desperate hours, when we mine ourselves for more than we ever could conceive was possible, the fuel is there. So that we may continue on.
Hope may be fragile, but it is there.
Like light. . .

Sometimes blazing, sometimes merely a tender, trembling flicker that regardless, cannot be extinguished, that flame winking even in the darkest hours. So we continue to learn again and again as time churns ever onward.

Happy Hanukkah, Playbill readers. May we all mine ourselves for more — tonight and always.
L’Chaim!

Self Portrait: 8.DEC.15

Tzeitel. My lamb. 

'Joy' by Rabindranath Tagore

And Joy is Everywhere;
It is in the Earth's green covering of grass;
In the blue serenity of the Sky;
In the reckless exuberance of Spring;
In the severe abstinence of grey Winter;
In the Living flesh that animates our bodily frame;
In the perfect poise of the Human figure, noble and upright;
In Living;
In the exercise of all our powers;
In the acquisition of Knowledge;
in fighting evils...
Joy is there
Everywhere. 

Meet "The Daughters"

"Alexandra Silber, Samantha Massell, Melanie Moore, Jenny Rose Baker and Hayley Feinstein introduce us to the five daughters of Tevye (played by Danny Burstein) in Fiddler on the Roof."

Ask Al: Down Time

© www.iamshotaro.com

Dear Al,

What do you do…when you're not… doing “what you do?” 

How does a free-lancer deal with their "downtime" effectively without losing their sanity or getting off-track?


Valerie


*

Dear Valerie
,

Oooooh, gurl: [*deep sigh*] ... good one.

Everyone knows the drill—" down time" comes along, and, as ever, we begin to do The Dance— yes, THAT dance of trying feebly to NOT LOSE OUR EVER-LOVIN' MINDS.

By this point, I know better than to think the first 48 hours after a job is going to be anything more than me glued to my sofa, my cat staring at me blankly, watching crime shows as I pad back and forth feebly from bed to sofa to fridge.
     It's glamor.
     It's *Showbizzz...*

Anyway...

A career in the arts more often than not comes with huge periods of hurry and flurry, often followed by (sometimes loooooooong) periods of said "Downtime." One day you are knocking ‘em dead, filming your commercial, doing your guest arc, breaking hearts in Pippin, running from audition to audition, slaying the crowds, kicking ass and taking names, and the next day?
BOOM:

“Hello, Unemployment, how can I help you?”

[*Violin music*]

     You can’t “get arrested”
     Auditions are slow.
     Auditions aren’t slow, but no one wants an [inset-exactly-what-you-are] type.
     You aren’t working for another 3 months.
     You are working, but you’re called for two hours a day.

[*Whooooo willlll buuuuuuy....?*]

…You get it.
It’s a serious bummer.

During this downtime, you may start to get itchy.
Or, if you are anything like me, you find the first 48 hours GAH-MA-ZING, and euphorically jump around the streets of the city—('I am free! I am a vessel of infinite possibilities! I might go to Antarctica! I might learn Japanese! I might build houses in Nicaragua! I might be able to finally focus on a new skill or technique and be a STAH!')
This feeling is immediately followed (at exactly hour 49) by finding myself in the fetal position, totally FREAKING THE F**K OUT.

…Sound familiar?

If you ask me (and you are) “Downtime,” if utilized appropriately, can be a great opportunity! But it CAN lead to feelings of boredom or discouragement if you do not stay motivated. So DON’T LET THAT HAPPEN! You must learn to create happiness, and actively find ways to keep moving forward—we should never become complacent; doing even one little thing every day can help you to stay motivated, keep your “knives sharp,” and will certainly help bring you closer to all of your goals.

I like to call downtime “Strategic Re-engagement.”
Now, okay, that may sound a little dry, but it is also active and positive. Dr. Brené Brown calls hers “Whitespace,” and I like that too, for sometimes re-engagement means going internal, taking that bubble bath and binge-watching ‘Downton Abbey;’ and sometimes it means putting on your big-girl pants and just gosh-darn-taking that real-estate course. And, yes, sometimes it means being a little busted and taking that temp job at Loserville Café. But ALL of these are valid, acceptable, and just a part of The Thing of being any kind of freelancer.

*

Here are a few practical tips for making the most of your downtime:

"TRY, Morales..."

1. PLAN
Nothing… and I mean Priscilla-Lopez-Original-Cast-of-A-Chorus-Line-N-O-T-H-I-N-G is going to happen at all if you don’t start with #1.

Make a freakin’ Plan already.

You take your pick— quiet-time or hard-work time, both are critical.

Quiet time is essential because it gives you the space to reflect on your life, make plans and re-charge your batteries.

Hard work is vital to all true growth.

Having a freaking PLAN will just help you get the most out of your time, and thus the most of your life.

Micro-tips:

    A) Before downtime begins, ask yourself what you're hoping/expecting to get out of it.
For example:
    - Do you want to do something productive, just have fun, or need to genuinely recuperate?
    - Do you want to mix active and inactive options?
    - Is there something specific you’ve been meaning to do for a long time? (Visit Norway / join the World Sudoku championship /take a clown class?)
    - Are you on a time/ money budget?

    B) Jot down a few downtime options, and how much TIME to dedicate to each activity. 1- 4 items is a good start. It can be anything from learning to juggle, visiting family, to parging your driveway.

    C) Make a schedule.
Busy people often “blah” away valuable downtime because they haven't scheduled a gosh darn meaningful thing into their falsely busy lives. But “resting-artists,” are often more guilty of “frittering” the downtime away than anyone. Where oh WHERE did October 17th get away to while I was not-online-shopping/ playing video games/ watching Judge Judy?
No idea.
Just… suddenly it was 10pm.

Plan.
Schedule.
Have some ideas.
Commit to an exact time when your downtime ends.
Set an alarm if it will help you.


2. Take (an actual) freakin’ break.
But actually, do it.
The last week of July I was on my first vacation in 8 years. (?!!) EIGHT. YEARS. I went to Lake Tahoe with my brother and his young (gah-dorable) family. I was discussing how excited I was to possibly return to Lake Tahoe next summer—this is how the conversation went:

AL: This place is so beautiful—I’ve never been here! I’m so excited to return next year!
 JORDAN: You’re coming back?
AL: yes, I am singing in the music festival next summer.
JORDAN: How are you going to get time off from work?
AL: Well, I actually get to take a few vacation days.
JORDAN: …Wait. So… you are going to take a vacation from your 8-shows-a-week schedule, to go… work more? Just... in another place?
AL: …Um. Okay, yes. … I take your point.

So. Be present in the moment, Sleep in once in a while (it will envelop you in warmth, coziness, and rainbows—just don’t do it every day). Read, grab a pal and organize to do something actually FUN, switch off your devices, take a trip, or maybe even just be idle for an entire weekend!
That's right. Take a break. A real one.

And if you have any doubts about how to do this guilt-free? Watch your pet. The Kween herself Tatiana Angela Lansbury Romanov sure knows how to make the most of her life’s work of downtime; take a leaf out of Tati’s book and take four naps…


3. Improve a skill-set / Brush up
Many of us unknowingly put limits on ourselves too often.
Don’t limit yourself.
You can be anything and anyone that you want to be and not just like in the Hall & Oates song.

If you’ve come to the big city with ‘nothing but a dance belt and a tube of chapstick’ to pursue your dream of working as an artist, then one can almost guarantee that you’re talented in some manner—some of which you may not have even considered yet.

I remember the first time I ever took an African Dance class at The Guthrie Theatre… “Whaaaaat the actual hell is going on…?” I thought as I stomped wildly across the floor to admittedly fantastic but super-intense drumming. What the hell was actually going on was I WAS KICKING MAJOR ASS AT AFRICAN DANCE and totally nailing life! A new passion, new respect, new self-possession about an innate mastery I never knew I possessed all because I said “F*** it” and dove in just because.  Taking the time to explore these other areas of our art is crucial to creating a diverse artist and human being – which everyone should aim to be.


4. Get a job.
 Yep. That job.

...I know.

No no— not that job—that one.

You are going to become obsessed with getting a new job. Not only because you need to feed your hungry belly, pay your landlord and not starve your pets, but also because you probably just can’t handle how much you feel like your talent, mind, energy and passionate self, are being wasted.
I understand that, and you need to know how valid, human, and understandable those feelings are. But obsessing about the next “gig” (as in “everything will be okay when I finally book XYZ”) isn’t the answer to your distress.

Truths:
A new artistic job is NOT the answer to your existential problems.
Some kind of job is gonna feed your cat and occupy your mind.


5. Live an Artistic Life
It is easy to get tied up in your "Career Identity—" you know the one. The one where your entire existence and feeling of life-purpose is tied specifically to being PAID for your art? Yeah, that one. It makes sense— there is a tremendous sense of professional artistic “legitimacy—” as in: “If I am paid to do it I must be the real thing.” While that is true, it is also true that creating art, and practicing artistic living for its own sake makes a human being no less an artist.

I challenge you (and all artists, professional or non) to view your entire LIFE as an artistic opportunity.
To live your LIFE artistically.

Elizabeth Gilbert (beautiful writer and author of Eat Pray Love) has written an entire book (that you should buy right now) on the subject of living creatively.

“If you’re alive, you’re a creative person […] A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life. Living in this manner—continually and stubbornly bringing forth the jewels that are hidden within you—is a fine art, in and of itself.”

― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

She is, of course, deeply correct. One of the glories of the arts themselves is that you can participate in them at any level and have it edify and glorify your life!

That means you can:
- Work in an office and paint on Sundays.
- Sing in a choir
- Join a community theatre
- Start a blog to chart and share your writing (how do you think London Still started?)
- Take “old-lady” tap class
or
- Practice cello BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU HAPPY, and it is fulfilling to develop mastery for any reason.

But that’s not all.
Living creatively and artistically is not just for the artsy-types or the creative elite. There is not “Creativity Membership Club” in which one is either already a member, or never will be. Don’t allow your childhood “creativity demons” (like that meany-pants art teacher that told you-you couldn’t draw because your sky was green and the unicorn had three horns) torpedo you. Creative living is for ANY-and-EVERY-one.

That’s right.

That ALSO means you can:
- Journal
- Start a blog about whatever
- Create THE most beautiful birthday cakes for your children
- Write hand-written letters
- Throw beautiful parties
- Scrapbook
or
- Revel in your personal sense of style

Searching constantly for creative outlets and sources of expression and you will feel far less frustrated about your “real life,” and it will also make you healthier in general. But literally. Science says so.

Vulnerability and Shame researcher Brené Brown (one of my total heroes) says:

“the notion of ‘I’m not very creative’ just doesn’t work: ‘There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t.’”

 She also points out that

“Unused creativity doesn’t just disappear. It lives within us until it’s expressed, neglected to death, or suffocated by resentment and fear.”

Think of art, and of creativity as a WAY OF LIFE, and watch out world! You are on the super-highway to happiness, self-fulfillment, and super-strength vitality! Now, if that isn’t a superpower I don’t know what is.


Finally?


6. Lighten the heck up.
When presented with the choice between being cranky or being grateful, my dearest friends, please CHOOSE JOY.

Now I am not talking about denying your very real feelings of disappointment or rejection (you’d be a big ol’ weirdo if you never did—as well as a big ol’ pants-on-fire), I am talking about choosing how to RESPOND to those feelings AFTER you have felt them. Do you LIVE in the muck like a muck-monster, or do you rise up, wipe the dust from your face and continue on with dignity and gusto?

Respond to situations, rather than give in to knee-jerk Reactions.

Remember you have the gift of being alive.
You have a consciousness, you are capable of ideas, tasting delicious food, listening to music, holding hands, playing in the snow, loving and being loved.

People:
We are on this planet ONCE, and that is IT.
Lighten the heck up.

You got this.

...but seriously.

In My Life: Lance

Lance Horne
New York, NY
©2011

An Open Letter to Angela Lansbury on her 90th Birthday

Dear Dame Angela,

It seems inappropriate to be writing this open letter to you on anything other than a now-vintage Royal typewriter, but alas. 

Happy 90^th Birthday. 

You sure do know how to live a life. 

I often 'joke' on all forms of social media (and, well, truthfully to anyone who will listen including total strangers on public transportation), that my admiration for you borders on obsession. The truth is there is nothing borderline about it...

[Pause] 

Your portrait is absolutely not my iPhone wallpaper...

...Nope.

The greatest day of my teaching life was NOT when my student Kendyl gave a report on you entitled “BOW DOWN...”

...Casual

Nor did I name my cat after you...  

My cat: Tatiana Angela Lansbury Romanov

I have many personal and artistic role models (Danny Kaye, Cate Blanchett, Marcel Marceau, Irene Pappas and your real-life BFF Bea Arthur to name a few), but you remain, without exception, my only true idol. 

The truth is: not only your career, but your life itself is of profoundest meaning, inspiration, and influence. 

I’m sure you’d be really proud of my parents to know that I first came across you as Princess Gwendolyn in the 1955 classic The Court Jester (my father was Danny Kaye’s biggest fan). This resulted in many a dinner party in which 7-year-old-me regaled guests with citations of you saying “I don’t give a FIG for your wishes!” (and of course, the “Pellet with the Poison” sketch), and once in a while sneaking up behind other children on the playground and whispering “…if he dies, YOU die…” just like Princess Gwendolyn. ...Well, at least I thought I was pretty cool... 

I then devoured “Til The Clouds Roll By—” (like I said: I had great parents). As I grew of course I reveled in the magic of Bedknobs and Broomsticks and Beauty and the Beast, not to mention exclusively watching Murder, She Wrote if ever I stayed home from school for any reason. 

"The theater is magical and addictive."

As a teenager I became enamored with the theatre, and that was truly where, what can only be described as the tsunamic-thrall of respect for your legacy deepened. 

I did reports on you.

Devoured your early cinema work.

I delighted in watching you host the Tonys.

Wrote your quotes about life and acting in my journals

     and, perhaps most importantly, 

created THE ANGELA LANSBURY POWER PLAYLIST (starting with “We Need a Little Christmas,” taking the scenic route past “Anyone Can Whistle,” “Worst Pies in London,” Pirates of Penzance and “Bosom Buddies” then ending with your “Rose’s Turn”). 

By the end of college, the deal was sealed. 

When I moved to America from London at the very end of 2009, I was in a state of intense personal turmoil. The only adult life I’d known had crumbled in London, and I was starting over in The Big Apple with nothing to lose—because, frankly, I’d already lost it all. 

But I was lucky enough to be able to catch you live on stage several times. I even happened to sing an aria from Master Class at The Acting Company’s benefit honoring Terrence McNally that you hosted in 2011 (but was honestly so overwhelmed by singing on my first Broadway stage in yours and other luminaries’ presences, I couldn’t even face the CONCEPT of meeting my only idol that evening…) You were a true lady—you gave me a hearty, smiling “Brava” from the seat beside Terrence, and you spoke with eloquence, honesty and warmth. I also had the privilege to meet you personally at Terrence’s opening of It’s Only a Play, in which you were just a gracious and dignified. 

In short: you were everything I hoped you to be. 

But while I always admired your work, something happened to me personally in 2012 that changed me, and your influence was right at the center of it. 

I “awoke”  in the middle of the bitterly cold winter of 2012, to a wave of intense emotions I believe I had been tabling since my move from London, and more than likely a hefty load of feelings from the passing of my father in 2001. I was processing grief, heartbreak, and a total shift in professional identity; and, though it sounds almost laughable at the age of 27, I was feeling that I had started over “Too Late.” 

That it was “too late” for me to make it in the American theatre

“Too Late” to find another life partner

“Too Late” to recreate myself 

“Too Late” to ever feel young and vibrant again.

Above all, that the chance to begin again was “behind me.” 

I took to my sofa—and, in the fashion of all respectable nervous breakdowns, I adorned myself in the customary uniform (aka ‘The Bathrobe of Shame’), stopped eating anything that couldn’t be lazily pawed into my mouth, and promptly contracted walking pneumonia. I was winning at life. 

And then? Then, just like I had when I was a child home sick from school, I began re-watching all twelve seasons of Murder, She Wrote. It was light. Charming, It solved problems in 45 minutes. It was radically comforting. It was also a parade of gigantic theatre actors, screen stars, and stars-to-be. 

I love that as executive producer, you paid your actors well, I love that you gave “first-TV-chances” to young people you believed in, and above all, I love that in Season 6, when your real-life family was having trouble, you left Hollywood and prioritized their wellness, then returned to work like the professional you are. I love and admire your lifelong marriage (it reminds me of the love of my parents), I love how ardently you loved your husband, and your sons; I love that you were a wife and mother who was also an accomplished artist. 

"I was a wife and a mother, and I was completely fulfilled. But my husband recognized the signals in me which said 'I've been doing enough gardening, I've cooked enough good dinners, I've sat around the house and mooned about what more interior decoration I can get my fingers into.' It's a curious thing with actors and actresses, but suddenly the alarm goes off. My husband is a very sensitive person to my moods and he recognized the fact that I had to get on with something. Mame came along out of the blue just at this time. Now isn't that a miracle?"

But something else in that period hit me in the core of my being: 

You have proved that it is never too late for anything.

You not only prove it.

You live it. 

You are fearless. 

You are willing to try and attempt any kind of role, to transform yourself in any way. 
You became an Oscar-nominee at 18
     theatre star at 41
          a household name at 60
               and won your first Olivier at 89.
You work hard (you still do 8-shows a week on tour!)

You have re-invented yourself over and over again as an artist and a woman, from screen starlet to stage diva, to the most famous and beloved woman in television, and repeat.  

You stand like a pillar of fire, for those of us, just like me, that sometimes falter in our belief. That worry that the best of life is behind us...

It is not.  

Thank you for living it. 

"Here I am, I still go on, you know, like the tides..."

I have been putting off completing this open letter to you for years, for a large part of me knows that I could never truly say it all—and in truth, of course I cannot. I could never articulate the full intensity of what your life’s example truly means to me; how much it heartens, galvanizes, and ignites within me a personal, professional and spiritual goalpost. One of hard work, devotion, above all, hope. 

"I'm in a very enviable position, being able to work like this 45 years later. It's always beginning! I never have a sense of finishing up, just new things beginning. When I die, they're going to carry me off a stage."

I’m crying now, to be truthful. But only in joy. 

Thank you for your legacy. 

Your influence.

For the art you have given the world. 

For being the woman you are. 

Happy 90^th Birthday Angela. 

The honor has been all ours.  

With infinite love and gratitude,

Alexandra Silber

Fiddler on Broadway Press Preview: "Matchmaker, Matchmaker"

Want a little sneak peak of the new Broadway production's take on "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" -- just two weeks into our rehearsal process?

We are loving this bold re-interpretation, and absolutely adoring one another.

Enjoy! 

"Matchmaker" from Fiddler on the Roof featuring Samantha Massell (Hodel), Melanie Moore (Chava), and Alexandra Silber (Tzeitel)

In Rehearsal: a preview of Broadway's Fiddler on the Roof with Broadway.com

Paul Wontorek of Broadway.com interviews director Bartlett Sher, choreographer Hofesh Shecter and stars Danny Burstein (Tevye), Jessica Hecht (Golde), Alexandra Silber (Tzeitel), Adam Kantor (Motel), Samantha Massell (Hodel), Melanie Moore (Chava), Alix Korey (Yevte), Ben Rappaport (Perchik), and Adam Dannheisser (Lazar Wolf).


Get your Tickets to FIDDLER ON THE ROOF!

A Fiddler field trip!

"Tevye's Daughters" took our first trip to the Broadway to see all the marquees!

Here I am with my beautiful new 'little sisters' Samantha Massell (Hodel) and Melanie Moore (Chava)--we are so excited! Are you?