Thank you, Michael Tilson Thomas

It with profound sorrow that I join the world in mourning the loss of a once-in-generation musician, Michael Tilson Thomas.

I have many memories, (and some shall always remain privately ‘mine’), but what I can say is that MTT gave me was so much more than “a shot” when he selected me—a total nobody— to sing *his* Maria. He also gave me the gift of contributing to the legacy of West Side Story and to crossover music history, happily preserved for all time on our glorious recording.

But above all, MTT unsentimentally taught me how to believe in myself, and the lesson that sometimes? that is a slow process. The story that captures this:

One day, during our week leading up to ‘West Side Story’ rehearsal he brought me in to his office. I truly believed I was being fired. The imposter syndrome was real. But that is not what happened. “You’re singing sharp when you get nervous,” he said. “I know. That does happen when I get nervous I’ll fix it,” I replied, horrified. “Singing sharp often happens when people try too hard,” MTT continued, “They overshoot the note trying to be more than they are. I don’t need you to be more than you are. You are ‘Ein großer Künstler’ Alexandra. A great artist. Be exactly what you are, fully, don’t shrink, don’t puff, and you’ll be perfection.”

I was staggered. I almost cried. 

     “So I’m not fired?”
     “Absolutely not.”
     “But… I don’t know if I can trust myself like that.”
     “Then trust ME. I’m Michael Tilson Thomas and I know what I’m doing! I chose you. And I don’t regret it. Trust ME until you trust yourself. Sometimes belief can be collaborative. Nothing wrong with that.”

May we all learn from this.

May his memory be a blessing. 

I know it shall always be for me. 

None shall part us now. 

 

 

 

 

New World Symphony Gala

Tonight tonight...
Oh what a night. 

Happy 30th Birthday, New World Symphony.

The New World Symphony, America's Orchestral Academy (NWS), prepares graduates of music programs for leadership roles in professional orchestras and ensembles. In the 29 years since its co-founding by Artistic Director Michael Tilson Thomas and Lin and Ted Arison, NWS has helped launch the careers of more than 1000 alumni worldwide. A laboratory for the way music is taught, presented and experienced, the New World Symphony consists of 87 young musicians who are granted fellowships lasting up to three years.

The fellowship program offers in-depth exposure to traditional and modern repertoire, professional development training and personalized experiences working with leading guest conductors, soloists and visiting faculty. Relationships with these artists are extended through NWS's extensive distance learning via the internet. NWS Fellows take advantage of the innovative performance facilities and state-of-the art practice and ensemble rooms of the Frank Gehry-designed New World Center, the campus of the New World Symphony and home of the Knight New Media Center.

In the hopes of joining NWS, more than 1,500 recent music school and conservatory graduates compete for about 35 available fellowships each year. The Fellows are selected for this highly competitive, prestigious opportunity based on their musical achievement and promise, as well as their passion for the future of classical music.

What a joy and honor to reunite with Michael Tilson Thomas, and dear friends Jessica Vosk, and Tony Yazbeck.

The set list was as follows:

Overture to Candide
From On the Town: "Lucky to be Me" - Mr. Yazbeck
"I Get Carried Away" - Mr. Yazbeck and Ms. Silber
Coney Island Dream Sequence
"I Can Cook Too" - Ms. Vosk
From West Side Story: "Somewhere" - Ms. Silber
"A Boy Like That/I Have a Love" - Ms. Vosk and Ms. Silber
Symphonic Dances

We flew.
We ate.
We laughed.
We sang.
We danced the night away in Miami.
All with friends.And the universal language of music.

Announcement: San Francisco Symphony 15/16 Opening Gala!

So. Yeah.
Wowee zowee. 
Hello.
To you.

You know what? When I found out about the Grammy-nomination, I was paying for a cup of coffee at a 7-11. I remember counting out the coins incorrectly and holding up a huge line because I was so discombobulated.
When I found out about this, I was...also... at a 7-11.
A different 7-11 mind you, but still.
And once again, paying for coffee.
This time, however, I dropped my phone. It actually fell out of my hands and bounced around in the air while I grappled for it like I was the victim of a bad sketch comedy.

This tells me a few things:

1. I clearly... like ...7-11
2. ...and their coffee....
3. There must be a space-time-continuum thing about The San Francisco Symphony and 7-11.
4. Not only was this such an unexpected, generous and delightful invitation, it was a stunning reminder of how incredible life can be if we are open to being reminded (often, in 7-11) that we do indeed live in an abundant universe. (Hence, 7-11 pratfall.)

Basically? NBD: I'm singing showtunes with giants.

"You’re invited to the Symphony’s biggest party of the year! Toast the start of a fantastic new season with sparkling wine, a red carpet, and enjoy an exciting Symphony concert led by Michael Tilson Thomas, featuring Grammy Award-winning stage and screen star Patrick Stewart, soprano Alexandra Silber, and renowned baritone Nathan Gunn. Then, head to the glamorous after-party with delicious treats, live music, and dancing.

Formal dinner packages that include premium seating for the concert are available by contacting the Volunteer Council at (415) 503-5500."

You should come. Here's how: tickets.

Michael Tilson Thomas, Patrick Stewart, Alexandra Silber, Nathan Gunn

Serving Maria

Dame Kiri: honoring the legacy.

Tonight, as I was doing the dishes in my ever-warming fifth-floor walk-up in New York City, a song began to play on my iTunes shuffle.
It was "One Hand, One Heart" as sung by Kiri Te Kanawa and José Carreras from the 1985 studio recording conducted by Bernstein himself. (Many of you may be familiar with the documentary film made about the making of this recording-- for many of us it was a consummate first glimpse behind the scenes of the music world).

I stopped.
Bright-yellow gloved, and covered in soap suds, I stopped.
The music was stabbing me in the heart.
I folded over and listened to them sing...
     and I cried.

It sent me back a year-- to Al on the subway/on the streets/in a hundred voice lessons/in the shower, pouring and pouring over the Marias of the past-- Carol Lawrence, Marni Nixon, Josefina Scaglione, and Tinuke Olafimihan, trying to glean any musical understanding I could. But particularly from Dame Kiri's flawless, totally inaudible breathing, the shimmer of her high notes, and the effortlessness of her phrasing.

Once upon a time, almost exactly a year ago, there was a day when I was riding the subway up to Julliard for a voice lesson. The very same 1985 studio cast recording of "One Hand, One Heart," had come up onto my iPod, and I fell apart on the 1 train. I just surrendered to the music, allowing the tears fall down my face moved by the truth and beauty of it all as a few thoughts aburptly struck me:

• I was conscious of the fact that I was making my way up to sing along the very streets where the 1961 movie version of West Side Story had been filmed.
• I was conscious that only a few months before, I had made my way to this very place to audition for Michael Tilson Thomas.
• I was aware that Bernstein's own breaths and gestures and feelings were in that moment, ringing in my ears...
• I could not believe that of all the sopranos on earth, Michael Tilson Thomas--one of the greatest minds in music--had chosen me. I could not believe what he was giving me the chance to be a part of. 
• I would not doubt his judgement, nor would I allow myself to let anyone down. 

It was in that moment on the train that I vowed to profoundly honor this role, and this legacy.
I endeavored (and continue to endeavor) every single day to deserve it.


You know, whoever you are, no matter where or how publicly you work on your art, we all must remember that art is, at its core, a service industry.
It is simply not about us, the artist, our ego and its agenda.
It is about the story.
It is about the truth.
It is about finding within the text and music and silences in-between, what makes us the same.
It is about serving the character,
     and in serving them, doing everything in our power to get out of our own way so that their story can be truthfully told.

I know that there are probably thousands of better singers than I. Some of them are the people I grew up admiring. Some of them are my friends. Some of them were in the cast of West Side Story with me! Some are distant phantoms I will never know or meet but I admire from afar. Many are singing beautifully in the shower in Iowa or New Zealand or Latvia. For many weeks before I reached San Francisco I allowed myself to be bogged down by those "better singers," in awe of their tone, legato, and breath control, and frankly, their life of training which I had truly only just begun.

One day in rehearsal it hit me very simply: I cannot be them.
There is only one them.
Just as there is only one Alexandra Silber.
This is not about comparison.
This is not at all about my voice, my high notes, legato or breath control.
In fact, this isn't about me or about singing at all.

This is about Maria.

And I knew in my soul, that I had a great deal to say about her.
I knew Maria in my bone marrow.
I had the ability to let Maria use my vessel to tell her story of love, courage, hope and strength.
I had the capacity to choose Maria's story over Alexandra's fears and insecurities.

And if I could find the strength to focus on Maria, rather than focusing on
     my self,
     my voice,
     the magnitude of this opportunity,
     the artistic company I am keeping, or
     the enormous legacy I am joining...
...then I would be just fine. Because Maria would be served, and with that purity of intention in mind, I trusted that the rest would fall into place...


*

Back in the kitchen standing over the dishes, as the final chords of Te Kanawa and Carreras came to a close, I realized something...
I realized that one day, there existed the possibility that the next inheritor of this great legacy, that future Marias-to-be, that people might be sitting on the 1 train bursting into tears with...me.
With Cheyenne, and MTT, and I.

And thanks to a chance encounter on iTunes shuffle, I saw it fully: this was the legacy.
Not my name on a roster of Marias on a Wikepedia page.
No. This moment of profound, connected-to-the-core, deep musical feeling alone in my kitchen.
Or on the 1 train...

None shall part us now.

"One Hand, One Heart"

One of my favorite moments shared on stage, in any place, with anyone, ever.

Not hyperbole.
Truth. 

With Cheyenne Jackson at Davies Symphony Hall singing "One Hand One Heart" lead by the great Michael Tilson Thomas and the San Francisco Symphony. I am so grateful it was captured on film.



Cheyenne and I were so profoundly connected during this song we could feel our souls mingle...

San Francisco Tweets

"When love comes so strong, there is no right or wrong, your love is your life." http://t.co/TRC5uhH1du #SFSWSS @Alsilbs @JessicaVosk
— SF Symphony (@SFSymphony) May 24, 2014

@alsilbs @JessicaVosk this is one of our favorite moments!
— SF Symphony (@SFSymphony) May 24, 2014

West Side Story is here

It is here.
And I could never articulate my feelings.
Except to say this: I FEEL PRETTY.
And proud. And excited. 
Enjoy.

"San Francisco Symphony's Tony & Maria..."

Opening tonight at San Francisco Symphony's Davies Hall, until July 2.  

From the Huffington Post:

"Say it loud, say it soft -- West Side Story. And there's music playing. It's just there, deep in the heart, engraved in the culture and playing somewhere right this moment. San Francisco Symphony is presenting five performances of West Side Story, June 27-30 / July 2, and like you've never seen or heard before. They are the first to present the complete 1957 musical on a concert stage. And hold on, the production is being recorded. It may prove to be the most significant recording of the show since the Original Broadway cast. Conductor Michael Tilson Thomas worked with Leonard Bernstein and is internationally renowned for being the composer's champion interpreter. In the roles of the star-crossed lovers, popular Broadway and TV personality Cheyenne Jackson as "Tony" and the fastest-rising soprano in musical theatre, Alexandra Silber as "Maria." It's the stuff that dreams are made of."

Read the full article HERE.