Seeing the final book for the very first time...

The final hardback copy of AFTER ANATEVKA arrived today from Pegasus Books.

Dear Hard-working dreamers everywhere,

Dreams come true.

Keep dreaming.

Don't wait for permission.

Work Hard.

Above all?

...Keep going. 

 

Twenty-Nine

It has become an annual tradition (with myself, and I do suppose with all of you) to share my birthday reflections. I must say, this year, both the day itself and the reflection has snuck up on me.

Soooo.

29.

Hello there.

29:

The atomic number of copper

The number of days in a lunar month

The track from which the Chattanooga Choo Choo train departs in the Glenn Miller song.

Saturn's number of years to orbit around the Sun

 29 is a Markov,  Perrin, and Størmer number.

A beautiful prime number (technically the tenth prime number, a twin prime pair with thirty-one, the sixth Sophie Germain prime, a Lucas prime, a Pell prime, a Pillai prime, the 10th supersingular prime, and an Eisenstein prime!) Plus a tetranacci number. YO. 

The number of letters in the Turkish, Finnish, Swedish, Faroese, Danish and Norwegian alphabets.

"$29.00" - A on the album Blue Valentine by Tom Waits.

AND, the iiiiiiiiinfamous N-29 night bus that got me home so MANY a time from Central London all the way north to Wood Green. 

*

You know, every seven years we have a complete new body of cells-- our bodies are literally fully transformed, our cells completely turned over, a complete body chemistry change and a need for unfolding. Twenty-nine is the first step in external integration with the rest of the world. 
It is a cycle. 
It does not come to "get you." 
It comes to present you with an opportunity.

And every age has special things to be known, understood, and worked with. There is no time in your life that does not have validity.

This year I know I actually felt my cells turning over--every single one of them. My mind, my body, my outlook, my spirit, has been transformed. As I stand here, a new body, a new self, I also realize that for the last 20 years or so, I have been in "survival" mode: frankly, using achievement and a driving sense of life purpose to keep away pain and fear.

I am no longer surviving. This year (through particularly uncomfortably difficult inner work), I healed those wounds. I am moving into a phase of life where I can expect more than survival. I can choose to thrive. To build a positive life, throw light along the dark and unknown tunnel of the future full of the knowledge that there is nothing to fear that I have not already met, seen and conquered.

...That is the best birthday gift of all.
To look ahead with such extraordinary inner peace...
              and excitement. 

Gratitudes 101 - 115

101. Mom - for taking exquisite care of me over Christmas and the New Year. Literally couldn't love her more.
102. Uncle Bill, cousins Nick & Suzanne -- new family. Whaddaya know?
103. My brother Jordan, sister-in-law Maggie, and nieces Hannah and Madison.
104. New friends! The cast, blindingly talented creative team, crew and production team of Carousel 2.0 has been a fantastic new family that treat me like gold. Thank you. Gratitude. Gratitude in abundance.
105. The opportunity to re-visit my old friend Julie Jordan, and to create a whole new set of positive memories. I feel a profound sense of being exactly where I should be in my life.
106. ...and that being said, the endless pleasures of Dressing Room 3 are abundant! Thank you Victoria Strong and Jane Noseworthy.
107. time with Jer. What a friend.
108. Burton Gray - for the painting (inscribed "thanks for stopping by Al...")
109. People that came from outta nowhere: Toni Trucks (from Interlochen!), Wayne Wilson, Betsy Reisz & Claudia Vasquez (all from Minnesota!), Katie Garagiola (Michigan friend circa 1993), the Hey You Guys (mom's college roomies), Rich Schraier (whom I met through Jeremiah last year), the entire Beverly Hills crew (including my teachers from 2nd and 3rd grade!!) and blessed London friends Lara Pulver, Josh Dallas and Zoe Rainey for dropping everything to come to Carousel 2.0 and reminding me that I have friends everywhere, sometimes in the most unexpected of places. I was so moved to have them out there I cried in my car on the way home... I have friends. The world is big.
110. Jason Alexander - for mazto ball soup, pickles and conversation deeeeep into the night at Jerry's Deli
111. Meeting Audra. (Whoa.) I'm not often speechless or overwhelmed in any manner but this sort of floored me and I'm pretty certain I was a silent dorkface...
112. Again, the ENTIRE Reprise Family. The most gratifying professional job of my entire existence.
113. Zorba and all involved in the total magic of it happening. Magical indeed. "Life Is"... delightful. Opa.
114. The opportunity to work with lifelong idols.
115. New beginnings.

Gratitudes 76-100

76. Men in suits
77. A fully functioning mind and body. What a wonderful thing it is.
78. Love. There is so much love in my life and I am so fortunate and thankful.
79. Great hair. (Mom, who has great-even-though-she-doesn't-think-it's-great curly hair is really jealous hehe!) Thanks dad!
80. The UK. The UK has been so good to me over the last 7 years. It has provided me with an education, an incredible career, a vast range of experiences including places, people and events, as well as a tremendous network of friends that have become like family.
81. April 28, 2001
82. Skype!
83. Roark & Galt
84. the iPhone and my gorgeous Macbook computer
85. East of Eden, for teaching me how to read...
86. Nick. For being real.
87. Judy Chu and our decade of letters
88. VADIM!
89. Russia... The Motherland... ohhhh how it transformed me...
90. Leah Edwards. Angel.
91. Lance Horne for changing my life and the coconut!
92. Jordan, Maggie, Hannah and Madison-- my wonderful brother and his family.
93. Snuggly duvet days (especially when it is a bit chilly and perhaps drizzly too. Yum.)
94. Victoria Hinde and Tasha Sheridan for literally saving my life.
95. The Betts Family - They have provided me with my first and last London home, and have been more than just hosts but friends over the last 4 and a half years. Their home in Finsbury Park has become a symbol of new beginnings to me, and their generosity never ceases to amaze.
96. Emma. Look what one friend-date can do!
97. America
98. Music
99. D...
100. The theatre

Gratitudes 51-75

51. Kit
52. Clouds
53. Roses
54. The feeling I get when I teach
55. My beautiful computer
56. My Fiddler family
57. My waist! ;-)
58. Red lipstick
59. Jake the cat
60. Michael
61. BARACK OBAMA
62. The internet (which is amazing, oh my GOD)
63. Coffee
64. Mrs. Devine for teaching me how to read...
65. Nina Machus for teaching me how to sing...
66. Dude & Jimbob Stephenson for giving me a foundation
67. What About Bob?
68. Concealer!
69. Birmingham, Michigan
70. Danny Kaye
71. ...Dad... again...
72. The miracle of technology
73. Gap Curvy jeans
74. La Petite Coquette for the confidence boost of the decade, and for Arielle for showing me the light!
75. The Savoy Theatre

Gratitudes 27-50

27. Thunder & Lightning
28. Lazy days with duvets and books
29. Toast (mmmmmm....)
30. Peanut butter
31. Jam (Of the insert-the-berry-here variety)
32. Cheese
33. Good conversation
34. Fresh fruit
35. Michigan
36. Beautiful snow
37. Clouds
38. RSAMD
39. David & Robin
40. Louise, for finding and believing...
41. Merrily We Roll Along for the moment I knew...
42. Liz, Kate, Anne, Susan, and Rosie, and for that matter all those who taught me things the hard way...
43. The book
44. My students
45. My teachers (sometimes the same people...)
46. Candles
47. Hodel
48. David, Stephen, Stephen, Simon, Sonia, Trevor, Andrew and Kennedy for changing my life...
49. Ruthie
50. The miracle of water...

Gratitude 26 (all on it's own)

26. A P Watt and Louise, for finding and believing in...

This is probably the moment to announce that thanks to London Still and all who have contributed to it's humble success, I am embarking on a marvelous journey as an actual writer (eeeek!) with fellow ice cream/badcrimedrama/musical loving agent Louise.

Louise, thank you for being so obsessed with Carousel and the ballet that bears your name that you thought to troll a message board and follow a link... (incidentally, thank you to whomever put the blog's link there in the first place!). Regardless, baked goods, crime drama and the world of writing will never be the same.

You can find my bright shiny profile in the search bar, or between Nevil Shute and Christopher Silvester in the list of authors... let me just say that one more time, I am among a list of authors... WOW. Talk about this gratitude getting it's very own spot.

Thank you to all.

(And watch this space...hehe!)

Gratitudes 1-25

This is a list of 100... just in case you are wondering...

1. Health
2. Serendipity
3. My Mom
4. My Dad
5. The orange cat
6. Interlochen
7. Mornings
8. Fresh air
9. New perspectives
10. Rosie - for reminding me that you should always trust your instincts...
11. Lilly
12. JNF
13. Jessica
14. Arielle
15. Michael -- all of whom are TRUE best friends.
16. Teaching
17. Singing
18. Glasgow
19. All my talents and gifts to which I feel so overwhelmingly grateful
20. Creativity
21. Russia
22. Rain
23. Light through the leaves
24. The smell of freshly cut lemons
25. Magical umbrellas