Carousel 2.0

"The world belongs to you as much as to the next fella-- don't give up..."

The LA Times

Enjoy this little feature on Carousel 2.0 and myself in the

It has been a total joy returning to my birthplace.
More on the entire experience to follow (after our opening tonight!)

What a surprise and what a homecoming.

California: Comin' home...

Law & Order

I am the self-proclaimed doyenne of a few things. (I will now, with excessive pleasure, list these things in numerical points... as I am want-to-and-ever-so-fond-of, doing.)

1. Lists
2. Raspberry Jam
3. Peanut butter
4. The Piccadilly Line (though, technically, my friend and Dickens-of-a-accordion/concertina/piano-player-who-is-incidentally-in-the-film-NINE, Mark Bousie named me 'Doyenne of The Piccadilly Line'...much to my delight...)

and, I think we could safely say, that though I may not be the greatest living expert on, though someone may attempt to challenge my semantics, I DARE YOU to challenge my enthusiasm, my discerning pallet, my penchant for

5. CRIME DRAMA.

[*CHUNK CHUNK*]

And so, dear readers, it is with extraordinary glee that I announce to you my first-bitingly-exciting appearance on the crime drama to end all crime dramas. The ultimate, the epic, the one-and-only

LAW & ORDER.

Yes. I get interviewed by Anderson and Sisto. Yes. I am slightly nefarious and suspicious. But i couldn't possibly tell you anymore than that... I can only encourage you to tune in on Friday, January 15, 2010 at 8/7 Central on NBC to watch the episode entitled "Blackmail" and watch me and half of New York's Theatreland take to the screen and COMMIT SOME CRIME PEOPLE!!

* * *

We filmed on 15th street between 7th and 8th, near to Union Square. My call was at 8am to report to my "honey wagon," check in with the Second assistant, then report to hair and makeup. 

I got some coffee from the breakfast wagon and settled into the trailer before reporting to Lisa and Leslie -- the hair and makeup ladies extraordinaire.

We chatted, (both were huge musical theatre buffs so there was a lot to talk about). Leslie went about curling the giant hair (of which I expressed mild...how should I put this...? --crestfallenness at the idea of a center parting-- but Leslie replied that it "had been specially requested"). I paused. I made a face that expressed something like this: "?!!" --I couldn't imagine anyone giving so much care to a minor character's hair parting, but there you go.

Lisa made me flawless and added a little cheek definition because I was concerned my face would look like a balloon on screen... especially with a center parting... she chuckled and said "absolutely, here you go darling," before making me promise to keep a watch on her love of "too much lip gloss" She paused and then looked very serious "...It's a problem..." she admitted, deadpan.

The "L-team" were totally gorgeous.

Half of The L teams asks me if I had cut my own hair.
I stared at them with a child-like look of guilt on my face.
     "No..." I lied.
     "Have you dyed your own hair too...?" she asked.
     "....No...." I lied again.
     "Don't do that. I mean the home dying thing. Fine. Don't tell me about it but fine. The home cutting thing? Never. Never ever. Don't do it again. Promise."
     "...I promise."

Then "I'm Every Woman" came onto the iPod and we all danced and sang...
...Into the hairbrushes...
...At the top of our lungs.

Over and out.

* * *

Then of course you get shuffled over to "set."
Not "the set."
No: to "set,"
     ...reminding me poignantly of one of my favo(u)rite British-ism peculiarities: HOSPITAL. What is going on there citizens of the United Kingdom? What? "My uncle is IN HOSPITAL" versus., "My uncle is in THE HOSPITAL." Perhaps the "the" missing in "THE HOSPITAL" has escaped to the second most delicious British peculiarity: "THE MENOPAUSE."

Perhaps this is a subject for another post altogether. That is, if I can avoid being sent TO HOSPITAL....

... Anyway...

This particular set was an actual apartment near Union Square. I was shuffled, the "look" (including the center parting) was shown to the director, approved of, and that was that. The next step was rehearsal.

A few minutes later I arrive on set surprised to see three freakish people that are dressed and look exactly like me, Anthony Anderson and Jeremy Sisto. This is "The B Team"-- the people who are on set long before you for the slightly duller roles of lighting, spacing, niggly production details. This made me realize I was part of "The A Team"... and I suddenly felt extremely cool.

Then Anderson and Sisto arrived. Fun times infinity. Sleepy, over the morning, not-at-all-certain of what episode this is; for it is, as I like to call it, an un-theatrical hour. They'll turn it on for the cameras, they care a lot about the quality of their work, but right this minute? They're asleep. And both totally adorable.

I am doing that thing I did with John Cusack-- pretending this is no big deal. Pretending I don't care, I mean, after all, please, neither of them is Jerry Orbach. But we make some nice small talk about England and how the food sucks and I embark upon the "HOSPITAL" thing mentioned above with Anderson. Sisto has found a magic eight ball and is entranced. He is lost to us for a moment before he put it down and spontaneously asks everyone on set who is Jewish. "Jews?" he exclaims raising his fingerless-gloved hand.
Half the set.
And me.
Ahhh New York. 

We rehearse the scene. The director and director of photography make choices about camera angles and shots. Sisto has his lines in his pocket. He returns to the eight ball. We all laugh about the twist in the storyline WHICH I CANNOT YET MENTION TO YOU BWAHAHA!

Then we break. "B team!" They call and they set everything up with the B team and we are swished away to get some coffee.

*

The thing is, so much has gone in to the production to get us to this point. More than even I have a conscious understanding of. To many viewers, Law & Order is a TV institution, a cops and lawyers serial crime show that's "maintained a remarkably high standard of quality for nearly 21 years" ... hm. 

The primary goal in pre-production is to take the script and create a schedule where the production team can film an entire episode in under eight days. The first assistant and the crew go out in the company van with several other people and they choose the locations that will be in the episode. When we're filming, it is essential to make sure everything and everyone is where they are supposed to be at the right time to film as efficiently as possible.

It takes eight working days just to get the schedule together, to find the locations, cast all of the guest stars and supporting roles, have production meetings, wardrobe meetings, prop meetings, extras casting meetings, etc. Law & Order shoots about seven pages of script a day which is extremely fast considering that on a feature film, you average about two pages a day. Television in general works much faster (Soaps, of all TV, shoot at break-neck speeds, having to turn over an episode a day!) Most of the days average 12-13 hours. Mondays usually begin at 6:30 a.m., and Friday night can finish anywhere from 7 to midnight (Mondays are often very long and due to an extraordinary 18-hour day in Season 1, Law & Order Mondays that run long are affectionately termed "Black Mondays").

And of course, the star of all Law and Orders is New York City itself.  They shoot in plenty of restaurants (the café we shot in had photographs of the entire canon of Law & Order casts on the walls, signed stills from specific episodes and all sorts of L&O memorabilia that naturally had to be covered up for our shoot!), apartments (my scenes were shot in an actual person's place that she rented out for the day!), office buildings, schools, government buildings (they sort of have a set up "camp" outside the city chambers). According to some of the assistants I spoke with, they tend to shoot about three or four days out of eight on their Chelsea Piers stage. They have space to build sets for each specific episode, so they've done it all: two level offices, high school locker rooms, the very famous courtroom, a funeral parlor, tons of motel rooms, prison cells and hospital rooms.


*

Back on set. We've returned from the break and are ready to shoot! We take our places (I'm lucky because all I have to do is sit-- there are no marks to meet on a certain line, no weird places to glance at, etc.), and the director quickly reviews what we're doing and off we go! They get the boys first (which, quite thoughtfully of the director, gives me a chance to sort of "warm up"), they rearrange and shoot me. They do close ups. Sisto screws up his lines, they do it again for him after he hits his head a few times.
We're done.

Between takes we are laughing something silly and they are going to town on their iPhones. That's a wrap. Lunch!

We report back to our trailers, eat, change costumes (this second of which is my actual dress), and then back ready to rock for scene number two.

It's the same story, perfectly nice but creepy identical people escorted away, shot decisions (more complicated due to key props, and a scene with a fair amount of movement in it), rehearsal, and shooting from every angle.

For this girl, for whom her head in many ways was in 'London Still,' it was a real trip.

I thanked the director, he thanked me right back, invited me to the office Christmas party, and glancing over to Aderson and Sisto I said,
"Bye boys. Thanks."

And in response... I got a double fist bump.
Magic. 
Now, that is the kind of cool one expects from "The A Team."

*

I report back in two days to shoot the teaser... but I couldn't possibly tell you anything more about it... you'll just have to tune in and see for yourself.


*CHUNK CHUNK*

Farewell 2009...

California Christmas

Excellent.

I think the best way to start off when meeting new family members is to chase two of the teenage cousins over the fence because you have mistaken them for "hooligans."

Yes.

That sounds like a really quite fantastic way to start...

That's what Christmas is all about...

This is the first Christmas I will ever have shared with my mother's family (of my recollection-- that means-- as an adult).

When I arrived on Tuesday evening the reunion was commonplace and touching.

"Hi Uncle Bill..."

I said it in a way that somehow communicated the following:

Hi there. I haven't seen you since Hawaii-- which translates to-- I haven't seen you since we were all there in Kauaʻi, which was three weeks before your father died, which was, incidentally, about 6 months after my father died. That was a very odd Yin and Yang experience in paradise that involved not only an extremely high stake family reunion, but also an incident of sun poisoning, a peacock imprisoning me in my hotel room, and, most touchingly really, a voyage "out" where you and I got away to get ice cream and you extolled the virtues of butter pecan. That was the last time I saw you. That was over 8 years ago. Hi. Hi there. Thank you for letting me crash in your house for the holidays while I feel a wee bit existentially lost.

Then a sweet and sort of awkward hug (I find all non actors give what I consider to be "sortofawkwardhugs" but perhaps that is another essay...)
Followed by:

"Merry Christmas. Thank you for letting me stay."

He looked at me a moment through his large, thick glasses;
"Are you my niece?" He stared at me hard.
"Um, yes," I replied.
"Then this is your house too."

And suddenly I felt very, very much at home.

* * *

Tonight, while Victoria is already celebrating Christmas morning on the beach, and all of London is fast asleep, while New York is just tucking themselves in; Mom and I will be with her family in Southern California-- baking, eating, laughing, getting to know one another. It will be different, yes. But often, different can be illuminating!

And so, while I marvel at a supermarket called El Super, while I gawp at palm trees and piñatas and corn husks and fireworks(?!!) and chili mango and jalapeños; while mom and I are busily preparing a variety of foods both familiar and un; while I enjoy the odd sortof-to-reallyawkwardhug with various "brand-new" people, while I re-pack my warm weather clothes; it is clear that this year, the most important Christmas gift of all will be the gift of what feels like a new family. (Now that is what I call Christmas magic...)

And now, to conclude, the clip that never gets old.

Linus explains what it is all about.

Happy Christmas All. x

The Little Match Girl

Sometimes the very best Holiday gifts, are the ones handmade, and from the heart.

Let me know what you think, and stay warm!!

The Little Match Girl 

 

The Little Match Girl

Sleeping

When I think back on this time, I think I will recall that for so very much of it
     ... I was asleep.
Perhaps that is how it is with pain: hibernation.
A chrysalis of sorts forms around us while we heal.
Or change.
Or both.
That is not shameful. It is not weak. It is necessary.

But I'm preparing to tear away the barriers of that sleep now.
I want to wake.
I've passed through a door.
I've marked a single, charcoal line upon the ground and contemplated crossing it.
I ready to burst through.
Yes. I'm ready.

...

Now, reader here is a preface: I don't often share on this blog in this candid a manner, but I feel the need.I know that many of you visit and know me not at all. You have shared the work, you have associated with "Act 3 Al." I have never attempted to use this blog in any manner of emotional ventilation, I have put forth every effort to protect and respect those with whom I share my life, many of whom already have very public lives as it is. This is not a tabloid. And venting is what a journal is for. The details are unimportant, the revelations are.

That is what this is: a revelation. I would be denying the journey if I did not mark it. This is too magnificent to keep to myself. And I am done hiding my light under a bushel.

There are several things I can say out loud.
So much I can face I didn't know or couldn't see before.
I looked in the mirror and I saw the Self of a young woman terribly disrespected and my insides churned.


Things like:
- I didn't have any respect for my Self.
     I never really did. (Self respect is like a muscle, if you do not exercise it, it atrophies).
- And that led to a monsoon of other unhealthy behaviors. That's over now.
     Standing up for yourself is allowed. It is, in fact, tremendous.
     No more dressing to hide,
     No more allowing away.
     No more.
     No more capitulation.
     No more valuing everyone else above myself until that Self is a shell.
     No more apologizing for being.
     No more.
     No one will walk on me. Intimidate. Bully. Strip away. Burgle.
     No one will rob me of my trust.
     Or of hope.
     The professional arm was strong while the personal arm withered.
     No more.

- Sometimes.. in fact... often, change is good. Change is great. I can embrace change. I can bear hug it and lick every last fleck of change sauce from the plate of life. (Mmmmm change tastes like parma rosa sauce).

- I am shocked by the force of a decade-and -a-half of built-up rage. Absolutely astonished. I must possess some sort of rage storage helix inside me...

- This is the end of the Dad cycle. (Well, what do you know?)

- I don't need a home, home is right here [touches her heart]

- That thing I hoped would end with high school... college... real life.. is never over. It is all the same. It never ends. Stop waiting. And this knowledge sets one free. Hooray. Adjust.

- and perhaps, most importantly of all...

... She broke my heart.
     She did.
     It cracked in half. 
     I loved her.
     I loved her more than anything.
     And that is what still smarts.
     And probably always will.

I am certain I can adjust to that too.


Take part in life Dear reader.  Do not shirk away from the world, take part in it. Do away with good enoughs and happy enoughs and fines. I am no longer ashamed to say I wish for more. No. I demand more. Of my Self. Of this finite, beautiful time. It is too brief and too special to be wasted on the parasitic, to be squandered on despair.

So here we go...
             ...the charcoal line...

____________________________________________


              ... Good morning.

I've been:

singing for
Hal Prince
Sheldon Harnick
Terrence McNally
Stephen Wadsworth
Arthur Laurents
James Lapine
Rene Flemming (and her cape)

singing with
Lance Horne at Lincoln Centre
Kate Baldwin
Howard McGillin
Ana Gastyer
Sheldon Harnick
Cheyenne Jackson
Alan Cumming
Daphne Rubin-Vega
Michael Urie

Running Fiddler lines with a frantic Harvey Fierstein

Sounding the call (with my gorgeous friends Michael Arden and Toni Trucks)

Receiving colanders from Martha Stewart

Witnessing Jane Fonda licking her fingers and mimicking tears...

Rocking at Joe's Pub

Living in between...
uncertain about what the future holds and attempting to just ride with that uncertainty rather than try to control the uncontrollable

healing

Learning

Traveling like a crazy person and genuinely confused about the city I am in ("Where am I what city what day is it what time why the what the why why zzzzzzz....")

Emoting, dancing and singing with and basking in the glory that is Adam Cooper

Giving Thanks

Proud of my friends
Santino (for bouncing back)
Tasha (for being brave)
Victoria (for going out to the other end of the world and getting what she deserves)
Alley (for bring so brave about the death of her amazing father)

Humbled after winning a lovely award

Wrestling with my swinging feelings about London:
            feeling this one moment: "having the most incredible time back in London. Although my visits were fleeting they was filled with familiar things, faces of true friends and of course a lovely award! (Thank you all for such a wonderful visit, and everyone's lovely and generous congratulatory words. A lot of people made what I did in Carousel possible..., and I am incredibly humbled and grateful. xxx)"
            and this the next: "Dear London, why do you hate me? Love Al"

auditioning for the same role as a girl so young SHE BROUGHT HER MOMMY... who fixed her hair... and feeling really REALLY old...

Seeing her lovely new friend Kate Baldwin in Finian's Rainbow

Meeting LAUREN GRAHAM (her hand was incredibly soft...)

trapped after locking myself in a closet at an audition-- story to follow...

filming an episode of the ultimate badcrimdrama-- LAW & ORDER! (airing 8 January on NBC)
     and loving and laughing my ass off with Anderson and Sisto. FUN-NY (seriously... I had no ass)...

Planning the future (Christmas with mom in LA followed by a Reprise of Julie Jordan than an operatic trip to The Kennedy Centre!)

realizing that every once in a while... every so often now, it still smarts...

Writing:
sitting in my living room surrounded by 14 research books (each sprawled and lying face down), over 200 sticky notes, and the evil evil (appropriately black and Bulgakovian) cat, and a blaring collection of eclectic soundtracks and my trusty laptop awaiting the words... (AH! let the book come together...)

Enjoying a week writing 4 more chapters of my first book and filming 3 scenes in my first television...

Overall,
... Good two months.... Great two months...

The Fontana Flipbook

one of my oldest friends.
and
a man of many talents.

A London Love Poem